CMSD [Moved to: www.coolmumsuperdad.com]

New Website

2009-03-18T02:49:00.014+08:00

Dear Visitors,

Update your bookmarks because Cool Mum Super Dad has moved on to its own hosted site at http://coolmumsuperdad.com/!

All the content from this blog are currently being transferred to the new site. This blog shall no longer be updated but will be kept open.

Sibling Rivalry

2009-03-10T20:10:00.004+08:00

Sibling rivalry has far-reaching consequences in our lives!

Jamilah will talk on Sibling Rivalry on Friday, 20th March 2009 from 3pm till 4pm at bfm89.9 (business station).

She will highlight how parents' attitudes (what they say and do) can create conditions which can diffuse sibling rivalry or make it worse.

"Where Can I Get COOL MUM SUPER DAD?"

2009-03-05T13:23:00.005+08:00

Some people have complained to me that they can't find my book Cool Mum Super Dad and/or its Malay version Ibu Kool Bapa Hebat. Technically speaking, both books should be on the shelves of all major bookstores.

If you face the same problem, you may write to me at jamilah.samian@gmail.com for an online order. Postage is free.

Highly Sensitive Children

2009-02-24T06:11:00.008+08:00

Jamilah will be on air (radio station bfm89.9) on FRIDAY, 6th of March 2009 from 3pm till 4pm to talk about Highly Sensitive Children (HSCs).

Specifically, she will discuss

- what the term "Highly Sensitive Children" means and how to recognise if your kid is one
- how HSCs are different from nonHSCs
- what parents / caregivers / teachers can do to help unleash the hidden potentials of HSCs.

Confirmed Public Programmes

2009-02-18T12:07:00.014+08:00

Jamilah will be giving FREE public talks as follows:

1) Parenting Talk: Cool Mum Super Dad
Venue: Tunku Abdul Rahman College (TARC)
Time: 6.30 pm - 8 pm
Day / Date: Thursday, 26th March 2009

2) Parenting Talk: Teens & Sex
Venue: Universiti Tunku Abdul Rahman (UTAR), PJ campus
Time: 9.45 am - 12 noon
Day / Date: Saturday, 16th May 2009

3) Title: Work Life Balance
Venue: Tunku Abdul Rahman College (TARC)
Time: 6.30 pm - 8pm
Day / Date: Thursday, 28th May 2009.
(co-speaker: Ahmad Fakhri Hamzah)

To register, please call any of the respective numbers listed in the flyers.

To register for the talk on 26th March 2009, please refer to the contact details stated in the flyer for TARC.

To enlarge any of the flyers, click on the image once.

Flyer for Parenting Talk: TEENS & SEX at UTAR, PJ.
Date: 16th May 2009.

Flyer for Work Life Balance Talk at TARC.
Date: 28 May 2009.

Thank you.

Why Kids Misbehave

2009-02-18T07:16:00.003+08:00

To listen to Jamilah's interview at bfm89.9 on WHY KIDS MISBEHAVE, check out the podcasts below:

Are You Struggling To Be A Cool Mum Super Dad? You Are Not Alone!

Why Your Child Is Misbehaving And How To Get Them To Behave Better.

Radio Show on "Why Kids Misbehave"

2009-02-10T09:13:00.004+08:00

Jamilah will be on air (new radio station bfm89.9) on Friday, 13th February 2009 @ 3 pm till 3.30 pm to talk about "Why Kids Misbehave" and what parents can do to deal with it better.

Tune in for a lively and engaging discussion!

Toastmasters: Overindulgence is Good for a Change

2009-02-01T18:41:00.020+08:00

by Jamilah Samian

Can you overindulge in gastrointestinal delights and devour every bit of tasty morsel in a multicourse meal and still remain as healthy as ever? Yes, you can.

How do you go on a food binge that lasts for three straight hours and not gain an ounce of fat? That's exactly what the second meeting for MIM Toastmasters 2009 was all about.

Fine dining began at 9.30 am sharp, with Toastmaster K. Geetha dishing up the Appetizer to tickle everyone’s taste buds with a simple invocation. Then came Chef d’ Meeting, Advanced Communicator Silver (ACS) Ahmad Fakhri Hamzah, aptly dressed as a chef from head to toe. Ahmad caught everyone off guard when he struck the top of the rostrum with a ladle. The standard gavel had been put on hold for a day. Ahmad talked about how Dr Ralph C. Smedley, Toastmasters International founder, concocted a recipe on how to be a good speaker at the basement of an apartment in Santa Ana, California in 1924.

Move aside, gavel. Here comes the ladle.

Next up was Restaurateur Lee Sai Keong, Acting President. Instead of delivering the usual Presidential Address, Sai Keong asked each member of the audience to respond to the question: "Do we EAT TO LIVE or LIVE TO EAT?"

The audience then feasted on a delectable round of table topics whipped up by Toastmaster Alia Nadhirah Ahmad Fakhri who, with an apron smartly tied to her waist, was Maitre d' Table Topic. True to the occasion, Alia came up with dainty ideas to go with the flow: "The best dish you ever made", "You're a waiter at a restaurant and the customer says, 'There's a fly in my soup!' How do you react?", and "The best meal I ever had."

The Entertainer of the Day, Daniel Teh, had the audience in stitches with his down-to-earth humour before the 20-minute coffee break, when those present helped themselves to aromatic nasi lemak plus a healthy dose of networking and fellowship.

For the main entree, three main courses were served:
- Chef de Cuisine Anne Yuen presented Menu No. 6 from the Advanced Communication & Leadership (AC&L) Manual.
- Chef de Cuisine S. Krishnan did Menu No. 8 from the Communication & Leadership (C&L) Manual.
- Chef de Cuisine Jamilah Samian did Menu No. 3 from AC&L. Jamilah was voted Best Project Speech Speaker of the Day with her speech entitled "Cost of a Miracle."

(L-R) Past President Mark Ho, TM Lee Chor Kee, ACS Ahmad Fakhri, Vice-President (Education) Lee Sai Keong, CC Jamilah Samian, CC Richard Hoy, ATMB Abu Bakar Bapoo

The Cuisine Critics, Word Nutritionist, BAHtender, Time Inspector and Chief Chef all had their say in the end. What a great way to end a sumptuous meal!

"This meeting was an experiment," Ahmad says. "I wanted to do something out of the ordinary. I thought: Why not create a unique atmosphere, say, once a quarter, to spice things up?"

The idea to set up a restaurant setting for a meeting had been percolating in his mind for months and took several days of research. "I looked up some of the terms frequently used in the culinary world and coined the rest. You can do it with a fair amount of creativity."

With his role as Chef d' Meeting (Toastmaster of the Day), Ahmad accomplished a Specialty Project and is one step closer to becoming an Advanced Communicator Gold.

"I began with the end in mind: Enrichment of vocabulary, being able to move beyond our comfort zone and dabbling with unfamiliar territory. I wanted the audience to use as many senses as possible in brewing words and phrases that evoke emotions, sights and smells peculiar to the culinary realm," he says. "It's in line with the theme of the day: CULINARY ARTS."

"It's also to tie in with Chinese New Year, when gastronomy is an important element in enhancing friendship and amity among family and friends," he says. "It's food for thought for other Toastmasters clubs. If you find the usual Toastmasters meeting becoming a tad too mundane, it's worthwhile to cook up something fresh and engaging."

Prior to the meeting, the audience was given a list of phrases and words they were encouraged to use like "spice up", "digest the message", and "garnish."

The guests found it stimulating, too. "It was a success because of the preparation," says Daniel Teh, who doubled up as Chief Chef (General Evaluator).

What's next?

"We'll see if we can come up with Law & Order, ER (Emergency Room), and The Art of War," says Ahmad.

What a Reunion!

2009-01-31T20:00:00.012+08:00

Catching up with your former schoolmates is invigorating for the soul, I learnt today.

I remember the first email I received from Dr Noral, now at the Institute of Medical Research (IMR). She used to sit just in front of me in class. "Do you remember me?" she wrote via Facebook. Of course I do! You don't forget people you grow up with that easily.

That sparked off a search for other schoolmates and over the course of just several days, things swirled into a frenzy. Emails flew from as far as Canada and criss-crossed the globe and before we knew it, the date was set ... 31st January in Putrajaya! How lovely it was to see June, Mani, Baya, Rosnah, Masita, Masjuniyati, and Nora, to mention a few. Never mind widening waistlines. The bright smiles and toothy grins brought back fond memories among bosom buddies in a flash, though it wasn't quite total recall for some.

It's a kind of closure, after all these years of wondering what had happened to everyone ... and NOBODY could care less about how many titles or degrees others had. Such a simple reunion; potluck for that matter, yet I had a blast. And to think all this while I thought I was the only nostalgic person around ... Boy (errr ... I mean, girl), am I glad I was wrong!

Several of the girls brought pictures of our schooldays ... it was a good walk down memory lane. Still, it's sad to learn that a few had passed on due to natural illnesses and other causes. I, on the other hand, did not have any pictures to share; I must have misplaced them as I have moved so many times after secondary school. It's also good to know that everyone is doing well. A few are keeping real busy with family (like me), others are medical specialists, lawyers, teachers and businesswomen ... I feel so proud of ALL of them!

Just before we left for Putrajaya, Fakhri said, "Why don't you bring some of your books?" I was aghast at the thought. Bring my books? This isn't a business meeting! "Honestly," he said, "I think they would love to see it."

Well, I did put some in the car boot ... and forgot all about it, until someone asked me. "Didn't you bring any?" she asked.

In the end, there wasn't enough to go around and I promised to send the books by snail mail.

Last I heard before I left, another reunion is in the cards.

Next Book on TEEN Boys ... Out in May 2009!

2009-01-29T21:16:00.008+08:00

Just heard from my publisher today that they're keen to publish my next book.

Targeted date of completion: Mid 2009, God willing. Anytime sooner is a bonus.

It's kind of a sequel to my first book, COOL MUM SUPER DAD, but this time I'm focusing on TEEN BOYS.

The book is an ideal read if you have a tween (10 plus to 12) or a teen (12 plus to 19) son.

Can't wait to see the book in print and hold it in my hand ... Have been working on it for sooo long. Put my heart and soul into writing it.

To everyone who has been enquiring and wondering ... thank you for all your support and prayers.

Second Book Coming Up!

2009-01-19T15:18:00.005+08:00

Phew! Finally, I'm almost finished with revising the draft for my second book ... yet again. Just have one more section to complete. This time, after I got feedback from an editor. I have lost count how many times I have revised the copy. I don't know about other authors. For me, it's a l-o-n-g process of writing, putting it into the cold, followed by rewriting. Many times, that is. Sometimes I go to bed at night wondering if the book will ever get published. Yet I will wake up each morning convinced that it will!

As Paulo Coelho said, "When a person truly desires something, the whole universe conspires to help that person realise his dream."

Wishful thinking in difficult times like this? I think not. Good times or bad times, it's always those who have faith in themselves who succeed.

Anyway, a tip for aspiring writers:

Some time ago I stumbled upon a book by Sol Stein entitled "Stein on Writing". It's a lovely read and worth your time. Doesn't matter if you do fiction or non-fiction. Stein has done both. In fact, one thing I learnt from him was that you could do both equally well. I used to think if you're into non-fiction, you can't shine in fiction and vice-versa. Glad to discover I was wrong!

AmBank Toastmasters

2009-01-19T14:58:00.004+08:00

Last Thursday evening, Ahmad Fakhri and I fulfilled a commitment we made some months ago to support AmBank Toastmasters Club. Great to catch up with Mah Foong Hoh, Jean Soong and Kala among others. As Chinese New Year (non-religious celebration) was just round the corner, the Sargeant-at-Arms had the whole place donned accordingly. Everything was red (a Chinese friend once remarked "The redder the better") and everyone received an orange as a door gift. How sweet! Miss President (Jean) even taught us some Mandarin and Cantonese greetings ... "SAN LAI FAI LOCK" and "SIN LIEN KWAI LUR". I do hope I got that right...

As the Grammarian, I asked the audience if they had watched Mulan. Some did. There was a particular scene I remember in the movie, in which the Emperor of China said, "A single grain of rice can tip the scale". What has this got to do with Toastmastering? Just as a single grain of rice can tip the scale, so does a single word can make or break your speech. This is not an exaggeration. Think about it. When you string words together, you get a sentence. Join these sentences, you get a paragraph ... and eventually, a speech. It's the quality of each word you use that makes all the difference.

Having said that, grammar is just one part of giving a speech. If you're not confident of your grammar skills, not to worry too much. The more you are anxious about getting it right, the more you stumble on the words. But if you are willing to take the risk of making mistakes in front of others (provided you're prepared), you have nothing to fear. Everyone can and will go as far as he or she is willing to work for!

Toastmasters International Youth Leadership Program

2008-12-15T10:57:00.009+08:00

Just completed the MIM (Malaysian Institute of Management) Toastmasters International Youth Leadership Program with other Toastmasters volunteers from 12th to 14th December 2008! I was a presenter and mentor. There were a total of 26 participants, ages 15-19. Tiring but rewarding. It's amazing what the kids could achieve in three short days. Program covered leadership skills with special focus on public speaking. Normally held twice a year. Next one will be in June 2009. Much positive feedback from both participants and parents/guardians. A little encouragement goes a long way!

Parents frequently asked if their kids could join Toastmasters. The answer is Yes, if he/she is eighteen years or above. For those of you not familiar with Toastmasters, it's a speaker's club. Great to help those butterflies fly in formation if you're nervous about speaking before an audience. There're lots of Toastmasters Club in Klang Valley. Some organisations also have their own Toastmasters Club to to encourage their employees to brush up their communication skills. If you want to join, look for a club near you. Meeting Hours and Venue are different from club to club.

MIM is one of the biggest clubs and open to the public. We meet every first and third Saturday morning, 9.30 am to 12.30 noon. Guests welcome.

Talk at UTAR

2008-10-06T09:37:00.005+08:00

Someone asked why I haven't been updating my blog regularly. My apologies ... I have been so caught up in writing my next book which I aim to complete soon.

Recent Programme: My husband Ahmad Fakhri and I ran a two-day WORK LIFE BALANCE workshop on 29th - 30th July 2008 at Boulevard Hotel Midvalley. He gave the corporate perspective and I gave a personal one. Participants were a good mix. Met with some wonderful people from the health, insurance and tourism industries, among others. It was mutual learning. We learnt from them as much as they learnt from us!

Coming Up Next: On Saturday, 18th October 2008, 9.45 am, I will be giving a parenting talk at UTAR, Petaling Jaya. Do come if you have time. If you happen to read this, please spread the word about the talk.

Programme Details:

Time: 18th October 2008 (Saturday), 9.45 am - 12 noon
Venue: Universiti Tunku Abdul Rahman (UTAR)
Centre for Extension Education
11, Jalan 13/6, 46200 Petaling Jaya

Admission is FREE and open to the public but registration is on first-come-first-served basis.

If you would like to attend, please contact Ms Eileen / Mr Ooi at 03-7957 2818 / 7955 5181 ext. 8663 / 8611. Email cee@mail.utar.edu.my

Thanks a lot :)

Noteworthy New Zealand

2008-06-20T01:03:00.024+08:00

by Jamilah Samian

My family and I went to New Zealand recently for 14 days from 23/5/08 till 6/6/08. We clocked in more than 2,900 km, stayed in a campervan, roamed the beaches, cities, towns, gorges and farms in the North and South. What an adventure! These notes are kept brief and straight to the point on purpose and are for your benefit if you plan to do a similar trip in future.

PreDeparture

To make the trip more fun and meaningful, everyone was assigned special tasks. Ahmad Fakhri - Overall Program Manager; Me - Food Coordinator; Alia (age: 17) - Financial & Medical Coordinator; Safi (14) - Journey Coordinator; Syarif (12) - Prayer Schedule & Gadget Coordinator; Siraj (9) - Airport & Weather Coordinator.

Day 1

Touchdown: Outside Auckland Airport
Clockwise from left: Syarif, me, Safi, Alia, Siraj

Disembarked at Auckland and greeted by cheerful Dave who brought us to the KEA Campers headquarters. Took more than an hour to go through paperwork and inspect campervan. It’s awesome! The one we booked was 6-berth - the biggest they had. Facilities provided in the campervan included: toilet-cum-shower, vacuum cleaner, kitchenette (gas cooker with hood, microwave oven, sink, cutlery and crockery for 6, fridge), drawers to stow away clothes and personal items, electric heater, pillows, blankets, duvets, towels. Extra towels, blankets, pillows can be provided at no extra charge. At night time, the top berth can fit two persons. The two tables can be converted and transformed into two more twin beds. Glad we only took duffel bags as these are collapsible. Otherwise, storage would have been a problem.

Mega mighty machine: The six berth campervan

A house on wheels: Inside the campervan

First stop at Takapuna Holiday Beach. Night was pretty cold as it’s prewinter but we quickly got used to the weather. Some camping sites charge per head. Others per family. Went to Food Town (open 24/7) for groceries.

Day 2

Still in Auckland. Found Borders Bookstore, biggest in New Zealand. It’s a challenge to drive a vehicle this size around the city (plus it’s manual and neither of us have touched the wheel of one for years) but Ahmad finally succeeded to find a parking space. Encountered a flea market next to Borders. Items sold at bargain prices e.g. puzzles, winter coats, Maori products made from tree barks.

Borders: biggest bookstore

Lunch at Kampung Delights along Albert Street, a Malaysian restaurant patronised by Malaysia Airlines cabin crew and Malaysian students. A choice of rice and two selected dishes for one person cost about NZ8. Quite reasonable. Halal Indian cuisine available downstairs.

Met up with a lovely couple, Roshidah (a chartered accountant) and Richard (an engineer) and their kids, Adam and Aishah. Roshidah bought halal hotdogs and chicken for us. Richard and his team published Auckland for Muslims: A Guide for Islamic Places and Services. Was told they exacted high standards during research to ensure the halal requirement is adhered to, so look out for this guide. The booklet is produced by the Mount Eden Islamic Information Centre. For enquiries, write to enquiry@islamicinfo.org.nz Or, visit them at www.islamicinfo.org.nz.

At the table from left: Alia, Roshidah, Pn Fatimah (standing), me,
Ahmad Fakhri, Adzreen (Pn Fatimah's son)

From left: Ahmad, Adzreen and Richard

Had sumptuous dinner of ciabatta (fluffy bread), sup ekor, macaroni and soup, spicy tuna sandwiches, and veggies washed down with pengat pisang with Richard & Roshidah, and Pn Fatimah & En Aziz and their wonderful families. If you are in Auckland and need a Malaysian place to stay, don’t look any further. Kak Timah and En Aziz run Mesra Homestay which offers 6 clean and comfortable double bedrooms. For enquiries, write to mesra_homestay@yahoo.com or visit their site www.mesrahomestay.nz. Heard that Kak Timah makes the tastiest ayam percik in town. Was advised that if you’re going North and South, rule of thumb is 1:3 i.e. spend a third of your time in the North and the rest in the South. Had the first taste of cleaning up the campervan. The indicator will tell you how much waste, water etc you have. There’re special chemicals that are provided to clean the waste cartridge. It’s easy. Daily checklist: Water, Fuel, Oil, Tyres (Air), Waste, Electricity Supply. Water, fuel and gas filled up to the brim. Left Auckland. Took Waikato Expressway for Rotorua. Passed Cambridge town which was really pretty. Passed rolling hills everywhere. Enchanting forest at Mamaku Forest Park.

Day 3

Spent the night at Rotorua Top 10 Holiday Park. It’s next to Kahukura Sports & Rugby Club. The Kiwis are much into rugby it seems. Walked to the mud park which has bubbling and steaming hot geysers. Just discovered that the shower has a timer of 8 minutes. Stay any longer and there won’t be a single drop of water trickling from the shower unless you have someone who can reset the timer for you. Part of the effort on water and energy conservation, I presume. Found out later that this isn’t true of all Top 10's. Some let you use the shower for as long as you like.

Off to the Agrodome for a live demo on sheep shearing and farming. After the demo, a guide, Grant drove us to the farm. On the way he told us that petrol prices in NZ have been raised three times in the past month! He asked: How do you justify the petrol hike? We shrugged. We don’t know either… Fed and made friends with llamas, sheep, deer and cattle. The cattle are humongous. They are at least twice the size of their Malaysian cousins! Went to a Kiwifruit organic farm and had some feijoas (a special Kiwi fruit that resembled the guava). Then to the Gondola and luge ride.

Live: demonstration on sheep shearing and farming at the agrodome

At the organic farm

Next stop: Te Puia. Had a Maori welcome at the Maori Village. The traditional Maori welcome is to touch noses. Took a guided tour to the geothermal area. Top spot was where the stones felt warm to the touch. Left Rotorua for Lake Taupo. Stopped at Huka Falls, an hour’s drive from Rotorua. A must-see spot, quite unlike anything we’ve seen. You can go for white-water rafting here if it’s not too cold.

Geysers in action complete with pungent smell!

Back on the road and passed by snow-capped mountains. There is a certain allure to these mountains. Air is so clean and fresh. I could feel it in my bones! Stopped at Turangi to check tyres. Passed barren desert at Ruapehu district. Reached Palmerston North at dusk. Ahmad’s cousin, Thaharah, a post-graduate student, lives here with her husband Taufiq and three kids. Gave them the four bottles of kicap as requested by Ayah Alang. What a dinner they prepared us! Sambal tumis udang, beef curry, briyani rice with cashew nuts and barbecued chicken, stir-fried mixed veggies, salad, dhall curry, popadum, and mango juice. Brought us to Pak & Save the next day.

Passed Paekakariki when it started drizzling. When the sun shines, it does so with such brilliance. The Kiwis actively promote road safety. Encountered reminders and stark messages along the way e.g. “DRINK & DrIvE”, “TIRED DRIVERS DIE”, “DRIVER REVIVER”, “SEAT BELTS ARE LIKE HUGS. KIDS NEED THEM”, “YOU‘RE A LONG TIME DEAD. SO WHAT'S THE HURRY?”. Reached Wellington in the evening. Some days we spent on the road. Some days we enjoyed the place. As much as possible we avoid traveling at night for safety reasons. Dusk is about 5.30pm so we make it a point to be off by 7am. Tomorrow we will make our way to Te Papa.

Day 5

The GPS we rented (NZ75 rental and NZ450 refundable deposit) helped us to get to the campsite after a bewildering ride through the traffic in Wellington (peak hours!). I like it that Wellington doesn’t have too many billboards. As in other cities, buildings are pretty well spread out as land is not an issue here. Besides, population is relatively low and heard that there are more sheep than people in New Zealand.

Day 7

Walked along Aotea/Quay Waterfront. Took the tram ride uphill to the Botanic Garden. We’re all wrapped up and saw some people jogging in shorts! Next stop was at Sea & City Museum (entrance is free) where we came across a number of Kiwi students on a class visit. Encountered seagulls. Watched a holographic performance by “little people”. Walked to Te Papa, a good educational opportunity for kids. Saw the biggest sea shell fossil there. Te Papa is six stories high but we only managed to see four. Met with Michelle, my husband's colleague who is on posting here. She led us to New World Supermarket for frozen Malaysian paratha. Time to stock up the freezer again! Had dinner at Satay Kajang Restaurant with Michelle.

Day 9

Left Michelle’s place at 7am for the InterIslander ferry service at Wellington Harbour. It’s good that we have booked early since the ferry service is full especially on long weekends. You can’t just go there and purchase a ticket. The ferry is huge and eight-deck high with facilities including lookout deck, playroom for children, nap corners and restaurants. The waters are calm today so it’s a pleasant three-hour ride all the way to Picton Harbour in the South Island. Arrived safe and sound at 2.15pm and made our way to the Makana Chocolate Factory at Blenheim.

Choc chef at Blenheim

Saw endless acres of vineyards. On the way to Kaikoura, saw Mt Cook from a distance. Waipapa Beach is simply amazing. Signboard told us to watch out for seals but didn’t see any. Encountered many Kiwis here lugging boats and bikes. Seems that Kiwis like to camp quite a lot, which is not surprising seeing that the facilities are available. Passed deer farms just after Cheviot Town. None of the deer has an antler. Saw a couple of seals on the way to Oaru River. Left Kaikoura, which is famous for dolphin and whale watching. You need to rent a boat to do this. Reached Dunedin tired and hungry after dusk after a nine-hour ride. Dunedin is home to Baldwin Street, the steepest street in the world. Driving the campervan through the steep roads gave us the jitters. We wondered if the vehicle would slide backwards at times. Dunedin is also home to Otago University, which has many Asian students. Cadbury factory is also here.

Day 10

Dunedin railway station

Off to the Railway Station. Thought we could get on the hop-on/hop-off bus but apparently it’s not around in winter. Went to the Otago Museum Discovery Centre.

Discovery Centre Otago

Had a terrific lunch at Encik Sabri & Puan Laili’s place. The couple took us for a ride to Signal Hill, a lookout post for Dunedin, and Andy Bay. Saw people surfing in the cold. Wouldn’t have believed that anyone would surf in the cold it if I hadn’t seen it myself. Passed Gore and Clinton towns but no Bush around.

Day 11

Off to Milford Sound. From Te Anau, allow two hours because of the winding road to Milford Sound in Fiordland. Be sure you fill up the fuel as there’s limited supply once you left Te Anau. Passed through gushing streams and calm waters of the Eglington River along Alpine Road.

What we saw before entering a tunnel on the way to Milford Sound

Reached Milford Sound just in time for the 1.30 Red Boat Cruise. It’s worth the wait! Milford Sound was named as the eighth natural wonder of the world by Rudyard Kipling. Saw two breathtaking rainbows against the backdrop of cascading waterfalls. Fantastic weather despite it being winter. Free coffee/tea on board. Left for Te Anau again. Spent a night at Te Anau, next to the lake, a lovely place to explore. Best Top 10 facilities we've seen so far! Spanking clean bathrooms. It’s a pity we didn’t manage to see the Glowworm Caves tour that started at about 7pm as we were too tired.

Milford Sound: eighth natural wonder

Milford Sound: A view to behold

Day 12

Left Te Anau for Mossburn on the way to Queenstown. Encountered strong gust of wind near Mossburn. Along Lake Wakatipu, we drove right into a movie crew at Devil’s Staircase Lookout, filming, I supposed, a documentary. The water scenes for the movie “The Sea Horse: Legend of The Deep” were shot here. Had brunch of roti canai, sambal udang, curry gravy at Lake Wakatipu in Queenstown. Passed Arrowtown, once famous for the Gold Rush. Avoided the zig-zagging road to the ski area and took an alternative route instead. Crossed Kawarau River.
Stopped at an orchard and bought choc nuts, pistachios and fresh fruits. Reached Puzzling World (owned and ran by the family of Stuart Landsborough) on the way to Wanaka. It’s full of mazes, illusions and puzzles if you’re into these. Really thrilling and an educational treat. Spent the night at Wanaka and was told it was zero degrees Celsius. Previous night was even colder.

Puzzling World near Wanaka

The Hobbit Effect: Fact or fiction? One of the many illusions at Puzzling World

Day 13

Stopped at Lake Pukaki, the bluest waters I've seen with the majestic Mt Cook as backdrop.

Breathtaking: Bluest waters at Lake Pukaki

Reached Christchurch at almost dusk. Warm welcome by En Khairuddin (postgraduate student) and Pn Ita. Learnt that rubbish is only collected once a week here to discipline people to recycle as much as possible. Wish this is done in Malaysia. Spent a night at their house. Feted to a delicious dinner of sambal tumis and mackerel with soy sauce! Best sambal tumis ikan bilis I’ve had. Lovely family. Went to the International Antarctic Centre for a little dose of snow. You can experience the Antarctic Storm (starting at -8C), watch penguins at feeding time and go for the Hagglund Ride. The Hagglund is genuine, an amphibious vehicle used in the Antartic. It’s a 15-minute ride which takes you through steep mounds, deep crevasses and go slow in deep water. Thrilling for some but one ride was enough to make me feel sick because of the sudden drops and climbs. A bit like the roller coaster.

The chilling zone: Experience the Antartic snowstorm at -25 degrees

Great dinner with Ita & En Khairuddin again! Evening: Time to wrap up our visit and start packing.

Day 14

Took an early flight from Christchurch to Auckland. Had the most scrumptious blueberry muffin onboard. Goodbye New Zealand!

BONUS NOTES:

New Zealand is by far the country with the most stunning sights and the cleanest cities (even on Sundays when the cleaners are not around) I’ve ever seen. I’ve done quite a bit of traveling myself over the years and I must say NZ topped the list. The campervan offers the ultimate flexibility and more fun (my personal opinion of course) as you don’t have to lug bags in and out of hotels or make prior arrangements with cabs to get to your next destination. It’s an excellent choice if you want to fully engage with nature, which was what we had in mind in the first place. It’s more comfortable for passengers since there is more leg room. One table could stay intact while vehicle is in motion so kids could read/play board games while you’re on the move. It costs less than staying in hotels. Both Ahmad Fakhri and I are used to traveling since our student days so exploring a foreign country on our own is not something new to us. Plus you could stop at one of the many tranquil towns and scenic spots for a break, heat up some food and have a meal or nap anytime you wish. This helps especially when you cover many hours of driving a day.

You stand a good chance to witness firsthand the picture perfect and captivating sunrise if you‘re up before 8am. It’s crucial that you have ample rest the night before so you are alert the next day. This is especially true for the driver as you’ll need extra time to cover long distance. The campervan has a 90km/hr speed limit. The Kiwis are strict on traffic rules. There’s a high penalty for offences and if you are slapped with a fine, you’ll be left at least NZ200 poorer. Some traffic rules differ a bit from what we have in Malaysia e.g. in terms of right-of-way, so check this out before you start driving. Check if the campervan you’re booking is automatic or manual. Ours was manual, which can be a bit unnerving if you haven’t touched one in years. Also, some go on diesel and others on petrol. The campervan is very much a Do-It-Yourself thing, so you need to be a hands-on person with a good dose of the adventurous streak to boot.

On arrival, we registered as members of Top 10 Camping Sites. Most of the time we stayed at Top Ten as they provided good facilities e.g. toilets and showers, kitchen (if you don‘t want to cook in the campervan) and coin-operated laundry machines.

You do not need to bring too many clothes. It’s cold, you don’t sweat much and don’t have to bathe as frequently as in Malaysia. We brought four pairs of clothes each and even this was too much. Half of these were never worn.

I brought my laptop along but only managed to use it once. A safe is provided in the campervan to store valuables. The van has a built-in television set and DVD console but we hardly used these. We were just too engrossed with the surroundings.

If you are highly sensitive to the cold or have a child who is, it is better to be over prepared with long johns, sweaters, winter coats and thermal socks as it could get very chilly especially at night. Also, these days there are special waterproof trousers that will keep you extra warm. Got them from a shop at Jalan Loke Yew.

A big heartfelt THANK YOU to Richard and Roshidah, Encik Aziz and Kak Fatimah at Auckland, Thaharah and Taufiq (Palmerston North), Michelle (Wellington), Encik Sabri and Puan Laili (Dunedin), Encik Khairuddin and Ita (Christchurch) and all the Kiwis and Malaysians who welcome us with such warmth, generosity and hospitality and made our visit all the more memorable. Thank you, too, to the man at a certain ticketing counter who issued free tickets to our children. It's a pity I can't mention his name here; it might cost him his job.

Children and Safety: It Pays to be Proactive

2008-06-19T14:03:00.004+08:00

by Jamilah Samian

It was hot and humid, the fifth day of the midterm school holidays. Ahmad and I had spent the entire morning going from store to store hunting for baby items in anticipation of our second child. The shopping trip was great but tiring. Now we were at the main entrance of a fourteen-storey hotel-cum-shopping centre. Throngs of people sauntered in and out of the entrance. Ahmad and I clutched our shopping bags as we began to look for an eatery to have a quick bite for lunch. I was eight months pregnant. I had been on my feet all day long. My feet ached and my stomach rumbled. The sheer number of people milling around made me feel dizzy. As Ahmad had both hands full, I loosely held my three-year-old son’s hand.

Several minutes later, we spotted a promising looking restaurant and began to make our way there. Just twenty feet away on the right, I caught sight of a lift opening its doors. It quickly filled with people. Then, out of the blue and before I could stop him, I saw my little son run into the lift as its doors closed. I stood rooted to the floor in shock. “The boy ... he ran into the lift!” I gesticulated wildly to my husband, who, at that moment, was looking for a vacant table for us to sit.

“Wait for me right here,” Ahmad said and dashed to a security person who happened to be passing by. I saw him talking to the man rapidly and then both men rushed to another lift near the one my son went into. The man inserted a key into a panel in the lift just before they disappeared from my sight. I was beside myself with fear, worry and guilt. My legs felt like jelly. I wondered: Would my son get out of the lift at a certain floor? Would he be safe? Would they find him? The next ten minutes were sheer agony, until the two men reappeared ... with my crying son in tow. “We found him at the fourteenth floor all by himself,” Ahmad said in relief. The two of them had gone from floor to floor, calling my son’s name loudly at each stop. We thanked the security man profusely. His fast action had saved the day. By inserting the special key into the panel of the lift they used, it was deactivated i.e. it would not open its doors to anyone outside, enabling them to search and locate my son without interruption.

My son is now twenty-two and a final year engineering student. Yet I still shudder when I think of the incident. Losing young children in the shopping mall or any public place for that matter is a big deal and a nightmare for any parent, especially when it is crowded to the brim with people. Every now and then we read of paedophiles and other unscrupulous characters out on the prowl for young children. For many parents, the safety of their little ones is a top priority and a daily concern. How do you avoid such episodes from occurring? When it comes to safety at public places, being proactive is one of the recommended strategies. Being proactive means anticipating what could happen and taking preventive steps as follows:

- Read a story about a lost child. Young children usually find it easier to understand ideas through stories read to them. Concepts like “stranger” and “safety” are easier to grasp for preschoolers with the help of pictured books. For older children, if you come across an article in a newspaper about a missing child, share the story with them and have a discussion on what the parents and child could have done to avoid the incident. Or, what the child could have done if he finds himself lost.

- Remind young children to always hold your hand. This may seem obvious, but children are unpredictable and curious and get distracted easily with the numerous things they see at public places. If something grabbed their attention, they could stay rooted at a spot, oblivious to the fact that you had walked off the premises.

- Tell them to stay near you. If they could see you and you could see them comfortably, then they are at a safe distance from you. This would apply to certain places like theme parks and playgrounds where it may not be practical to keep holding their hands at all times.

- Tell them to stay where they are if they are lost. It is normally easier for you to look for them rather than the other way round as they might wander further and further away if they try to locate you once they realized they are lost.

- Take note of your child’s clothing before going out. This would help security personnel to identify your child if he or she gets lost in a crowded place.

- Tell them to not play hide-and-seek at the shopping centre. Some kids might get excited at the sight of rows upon rows of hanged clothing especially and may think it’s a good place to hide for fun.

- Tell your child never to accept gifts like toys or sweets from strangers. Food and drink items could be laced with drugs.

Think twice before you decide to bring the little ones on shopping trips during peak hours. The busiest times include the evenings after office hours and school holidays. It could be wiser to leave them with a trusted baby-sitter instead when you absolutely have to go out during these periods. Shopping with your young child is a far more pleasant affair during non-peak hours because he or she could help you choose the items you’re looking for – an opportunity for the two of you to bond and for him to learn. Besides, you would have greater peace of mind as you don’t feel harassed with the thought of rubbing shoulders with scores of other shoppers trying to squeeze through the same aisle ... or thinking that your child might dash and disappear into unknown territory like my son did.

- As published in ParenThink May 2008 issue

For The Love of Logic and Mathematics

2008-01-03T12:54:00.003+08:00

By Jamilah Samian

What would you do if your four-year-old throws a tantrum in the middle of a toy shop because you simply refuse to buy a toy that he wants? Depending on your style of parenting and your mood at the time, you might resort to punishing the child, for instance smacking him for what you see as distasteful behaviour. Or, you might want him to learn from the consequences of his actions by ignoring his pleas to tag along the next time you go shopping. Perhaps you might say, “The next time I go shopping, you will have to stay home. I am not happy that you screamed so much just because I refuse to buy the toy that you wanted.”

Of course, this method only works if you follow through with what you said you would do i.e. you actually did not bring him along on the next shopping trip. By explaining the consequences of his less-than-pleasant demeanor and following through, you are helping to nurture his ability to think in a logical manner. In this case, he would quickly learn that his action (throwing a tantrum) causes him to be grounded. Indeed, one way to nurture logical thinking in young children is by letting them learn the consequences of their behaviour. Learning the logical consequences of their own behaviour is a powerful way of instilling discipline among children. Logical thinking, then, is the ability to reason.

Keep in mind, though, that there is a big difference between what is misdemeanor and what is not for younger and older children. It is completely natural for a two-year-old to dip her fingers in a cake mixture out of curiosity if she is left alone with it or for a one-year-old to unravel a ball of thread or pull out tapes out of cassettes if he is allowed to grab hold of them. Any of these behaviours, though, would be unacceptable for a ten-year-old child. It is absolutely essential for us parents to be aware of the kind of behaviour to expect with each developmental stage a child is going through.

The ability to think logically is crucial for a child, not only because it helps to inculcate discipline but also due to the fact that thinking logically is an essential part of science and mathematics. In fact, so entrenched is logical thinking in mathematical concepts that Dr Howard Gardner, the originator of Multiple Intelligences, married these two together as one. In Dr Gardner’s own words, mathematical-logical intelligence is “the ability to detect patterns, reason deductively and think logically”.

When it comes to Mathematics, many of us tend to associate the field with numbers. While it is true that the foundation of Mathematics starts with the introduction of numbers, numbers is only a part of Mathematics. As children progress from preschool through secondary school and consequently to college, a considerable component of Mathematics is intricately linked with problem solving, which is associated in large part with logical thinking. For example, consider this simple mental arithmetic question on fractions that Jee, a ten-year-old, has to solve:

Aminah bought 30 eggs. She used 2/3 of the eggs to bake cakes. How many eggs had she left?

To solve this problem, Jee must be able to reason that the batch of 30 eggs, when divided into three portions, will give ten eggs per portion. Hence, since Aminah used 2/3 of the eggs, she used (2 x 10) eggs = 20 eggs. Notice that the first step Jee has to take is to decide that she needs to tackle the division bit (instead of adding, subtracting or multiplying) before she does anything else.

Mathematics is a subject that steadily builds on previous understanding. Because of this, it is crucial that your child has a solid foundation in Mathematics right from the beginning. Any confusion or misunderstanding will be carried forward to future years and as time passed, this confusion may be difficult to unravel. It is true that some children have a natural affinity for Mathematics, displaying a natural ease when dealing with Mathematical concepts like numbers and geometry and do not need much help. Yet others may need extra help to value similar ideas. Although it is also true that you cannot force your child to appreciate Mathematics, you can encourage him or her to develop a liking for Mathematical and logical thinking from a tender age with the following:

- Encourage your child to explore. An enquiring mind often starts with a passion to explore. Exploration for younger children is synonymous with touching. That is why it is good to let your child lay his hands on as many things as possible. If your child is still a toddler, this is a good time to put away or keep out of reach fragile items especially decorative ones to reduce the number of “No’s” from you! Plus, a child who is consistently told “No” will, after a while, naturally be inclined not to explore. Why try when all you get is a furious glare or a mouthful of scolding?

- Develop a love for problem-solving. Problem-solving starts with asking lots of questions. That is why you should make your best attempt to answer your child’s queries, no matter how trivial they may seem. For example, if you are making play dough and the recipe says to mix two cups of flour with one cup of salt, you might ask your three-and-a-half-year-old to help you find out how much salt you need if you use one cup of flour. The kitchen, by the way, is an excellent venue to start a child on mathematical and logical concepts as cooking and baking need plenty of weighing and measuring, exposing children to scientific paraphernalia like measuring cups, spoons and the weighing scale.

- Engage your child in counting activities. Ask your child, “There are four spoons on the table. We have six guests coming. How many more spoons do we need?” Or count the steps as you walk up and down the stairs. If you want to introduce the concept of multiplication, count in twos, threes, fours and so on. Or say you have just returned home from grocery shopping, you could say something like, “Nina, we have just bought two bottles of Vitagen here and in the fridge there are three bottles of them. How many bottles of Vitagen do we have now?”

- Introduce the concept of measurement. Take an object, for instance, a pencil or a marker pen and start measuring items around the house with it. This will expose your child to the concept of relative length. Change the object with which you do the measuring to make it fun. For shorter items, use smaller objects like erasers, pocket notebooks or a cork.

- Point out the shapes of objects. Geometry is part of Mathematics, and you can draw your child’s attention to the various shapes and sizes that are available around him. For example, let him hold a boiled egg before he eats it for breakfast and say, “The egg is oval in shape. Do you see anything else that’s oval?” Other shapes that are easily recognizable are rectangles, squares, circles and cubes. Compare the different shapes and sizes as you go along.

- Encourage him to play with blocks and structures. Three-dimensional structures figure strongly in Mathematics. Having a hands-on experience with 3-D (three dimensional) structures will help your child to form mental pictures of these items and strengthen his spatial intelligence.

- Help him to understand patterns. This is a concept not limited to Mathematics as it also exists in works of art and literature. Understanding patterns helps prepare your child for the concept of sequencing in Mathematics. For this, you can use a pattern of numbers and/or objects e.g. arrange three spoons followed by one fork followed by two cups. Repeat the pattern all over again.

Last but not least, a love for all things logical and Mathematical begins with the right attitude. Even if you never enjoyed Mathematics, do refrain from making any remarks which might influence your child to develop a dislike for the subject e.g. “Hannah, don’t worry about not being able to do that, dear. I was never good at Mathematics myself.” Or “There are so many people out there who become rich without ever learning Mathematics. So don’t bother!” Just because you never liked Mathematics doesn’t mean that your child is destined to have the same attitude. While your like or dislike towards Mathematics may have been formed by your previous experiences with teachers and other adults, your child deserves a fresh start. If your child thinks that Mathematics is something beyond his reach, he would naturally shy away from anything he sees as remotely associated with Mathematics. And because Mathematics is a big part of everyday living, that would lead to a major loss for him ... You wouldn’t want your child’s cold attitude towards Mathematics to develop into a self-fulfilling prophecy!

As published in Ibu dan Anak (ParenThink) December 2007 issue

My Alternative E-mail Address

2007-09-06T12:13:00.000+08:00

I am currently having problems with my streamyx line. If you wrote to me recently and haven't got any response from me, please forward your email to my alternative address at jamilah.samian@gmail.com

Inconvenience regretted. Thank you :)

Nurturing Creativity in Kids

2007-09-05T14:38:00.001+08:00

by Jamilah Samian

What we say or do has far-reaching consequences on the ability of our kids to think and act creatively

Legend has it that ancient Singapore, or Temasek as it was then called, was once invaded by shoals of todak or swordfish. The sea creatures became such a menace that the King ordered his subjects to do away with them. On the appointed day, the brave people of the island descended upon its shores, keen to wipe out the todak once and for all. But it didn’t take them long to realize they were no match for the fishes. One by one the men fell as the agile todak pierced them with their razor sharp snouts. At that moment, a young boy named Hang Nadim came up with a suggestion: Instead of human shields, why not place banana trunks along the beach to snare the fishes? This turned out to be a brilliant idea! The swordfishes’ snouts were trapped and scores of lives were spared.

The story of Hang Nadim was but one of many that illustrate what happens when children are allowed to think creatively. Some of these kids went on to become great inventors. My guess is that, these idea generators had someone, quite likely a parent or guardian, who had backed them up, fired up their imagination and kept the creative juices flowing in them. It would be difficult to imagine life today without the many designs that are the fruits of labour of people who had concocted exceptional ideas. From mobile phones to the Internet to laser surgery, these inventions had made great improvements in our daily lives. Throughout the ages, creativity has turned impossibilities into realities. Even in times of war, it is the human trait of creativity that may have the last word on who wins or loses. Had someone not thought of the Trojan Horse, the nearly vanquished Greeks might not have conquered the Trojans and made history!

What is creativity anyway? Quite simply, creativity is bringing something new into being. While the debate rages on among psychologists whether creativity is something you are born with or is influenced by the environment, I believe there is much that we parents can do to nurture our children’s creativity. To this end, I would like to suggest that you:

- Entertain your child’s curiosity. Creativity thrives on curiosity. The more you encourage your child’s curiosity, the more creative he gets. Consider George de Mestral, the inventor of Velcro. In the early 1900s, he was a young boy who loved the outdoors and inventing. In fact, his creative streak won him his first patent for a toy plane at the tender age of 12. Each time after his outing with his dog, George was annoyed by the Burdock seeds (a prickly fauna) that stuck to his hunting pants and dog’s fur as it took him hours to remove them. George examined the seeds under the microscope and noticed that each seed had hundreds of tiny hooks that locked themselves onto the fabric of his pants or his dog’s fur. This gave him the germ of an idea and years after much experimenting, Velcro, the hook & loop fastener, was born.

- Tell your child that creativity has numerous forms. Because the media has a tendency to refer to certain expressions of artistic pursuits like painting, drawing, acting and dancing as forms of creativity, a child may think that he is not creative because he has no interest in any of these areas. This notion may be further reinforced at learning centres when the children who are able to paint or draw better are referred to as “creative”, which may unwittingly suggest that the other children who are not able to paint or draw as well are not creative. Tell your child that these only represent certain forms of creativity, and creativity encompasses a much wider meaning and possibility. In fact, it is the ability to creatively solve problems and overcome difficult situations that will help your child to not only survive but thrive in the long run.

- Encourage your child to think differently. Creativity often involves the ability to think out of the ordinary. It is the courage of those who dared to think in contrasting ways that has continually made a lasting impact to human lives. Children by nature are born creative. However, to remain creative, they need constant motivation. This is because, creativity involves two processes i.e. thinking and producing. All you have to do is to provide a safe environment for this to happen. For example, if you see your child stacking up a set of wooden blocks horizontally again and again, ask him, ”Is there a way to arrange them another way?”

- Be prepared to invest. Your child might need your help to provide the resources to turn his ideas into reality. For this to occur, you might have to set aside your time and money. Think of the time and money that you incur as an investment rather than cost. Even if things don’t work out as expected, assure your child that it’s okay ... he would have learnt something new along the way.

I must tell you, however, that the story of Hang Nadim had a cruel twist to it. His smart thinking made him a subject of both admiration and envy in the island. One day, someone convinced His Majesty that the boy will be a threat to his influence and power. In the end, Hang Nadim was ordered thrown into the sea. While we parents may not treat our children the way the King did, some of us, who have been conditioned to think that parents always know better, may feel threatened with the unconventional thinking that they might come up with. We may even feel defensive or ruffled if we find ourselves unable to respond adequately to our children's queries and their many questions of "Why". The thing is, children have to learn that parents do not have the answers to everything. To keep the creative strain in your child alive and well, do not ridicule or laugh at him when he conceives thoughts that seem crazy or out of this world. Without your timely support and understanding, your child's creative aspirations may remain just that - an ignored figment of his imagination that will soon fade into nothingness and never see the light of day.

Published in Parenthood magazine, September 2007 issue

SOHO Conference Sept 3 2007 at Berjaya Times Square

2007-09-05T14:19:00.001+08:00

I facilitated the "Working from Home: Smart Strategies for a Thriving Home Business and a Balanced Life" workshop at the recent SOHO (Small Office Home Office) Conference held on September 3rd 2007 at Berjaya Times Square. Many of the questions raised by participants brought back memories of how difficult it was for me to begin working from home 14 years ago.

At that time, I had no one to turn to ... I didn't know who to ask when the going got tough! I recall that the decision to work from home was made because it made sense to me; although at that time it did not to many others, friends and family included.

The 1.5-hour session did not allow much to be covered - I only managed to provide glimpses and a general idea of how to start and run a SOHO. Certainly, running a SOHO is not for everyone. It only works if you truly love what you do and are determined to succeed. Plus, you MUST have a healthy dose of positive thoughts on a daily basis!

The session served as a preview for a comprehensive workshop to be held later this year, most likely in December. Look out for an announcement in this blog as well as at e-homemakers!

Learning it the Visual Way

2007-08-14T15:32:00.001+08:00

by Jamilah Samian

Visual learning is much more than retaining, comprehending and organizing information using pictures and colors

For as long as I could remember, I love the printed word and all that is associated with it. When I was in school, I would devour the new text books that my parents bought before the school term began. It wasn’t long before this love developed into something else. By the time I was in secondary school, to my surprise, not only was I looking forward to writing essays in class; I was even enjoying examinations where my writing ability was put to the test!

Indeed, my love affair with the printed word has stood the test of time. Today, I am the proud author of two books and I love writing so much that I would write for free. Interestingly, none of my siblings who are professionals in their own right display an affinity for words as much as I do. I am the only one in my family whose passion for words is sufficient to drive me to stay awake at night thumbing through my trusted thesaurus and dictionary for that one particular word or string of words which would allow me to express my thoughts eloquently.

My daughter, on the other hand, learns quite differently. Ever since she was a toddler, she has a way with colors and pictures. When she was in kindergarten, one of the things she really enjoyed doing was doodling. I had this stack of used papers one side of which were blank, which she would use whenever she felt the urge to doodle. Though she is now a teenager, her love for drawing has not diminished in any way. In fact, she is into them now more than ever.

To help her remember the facts in her Biology lessons, for example, she has literally turned her textbook into pages and pages of mind maps which explode with colors, pictures, charts and diagrams to represent ideas and information. Even the minimum words that she uses for these mind maps are written in different colors and sizes. Not only that, the words are highlighted with curved lines, or set in bold or italics. She would readily vouch that she learns best in this way; that endless words in the textbooks overwhelm her.

If you have a child like my daughter, it is likely that he is a visual learner. The idea that we all may not learn best in the same way was first mooted by Dr Howard Gardner, who proposed the idea of Multiple Intelligences. Dr Gardner believes that there are eight kinds of intelligences, namely; linguistic (“word smart”), logical-mathematical (“number/reasoning smart”), visual (“picture smart”), bodily-kinesthetic (“body smart”), musical (“music smart”), interpersonal (“people smart”), intrapersonal (“self smart”), and naturalistic (“nature smart”).

Dr Gardner is one of the many experts who strongly challenge the idea that IQ is an accurate way of measuring intelligence. He believes that humans are endowed with many abilities and that each of us have at least one way of learning which we are comfortable with. Going by this theory, it would appear that my strength lies in linguistics while my daughter is a highly visual person. However, both of us love Mathematics and enjoy solving problems with numbers. Hence, based on Multiple Intelligences, we are also number/reasoning smart. What I am trying to point out is that, being good in one area doesn’t mean that you cannot excel in other areas as well.

It is important to note that visual learning is much more than retaining, comprehending and organizing information using pictures and colors. Visual learners are stimulated by facial expressions and body language too. In a nutshell, visual learning is about availing of visual cues to stimulate the mind.

How do we apply this in a daily setting? Well, to a highly visual child, no matter how interesting a subject is, if the teacher or parent speaks in a monotone, does not present good body language or an animated facial expression, it is likely that he will find it hard to learn and get bored easily. Worse, he may get distracted or daydream and his mind may wander elsewhere looking for that visual stimulation … which he may acquire through, say, a bird pecking at the windowsill! In short, if the teacher fails to entertain him, he will find ways to entertain himself! The teacher or parent must be smart enough to present concepts or ideas where the child is able to visualize well. There may also be instances in which words alone may fail to paint the correct mental picture. For example, to introduce the concept of molecules and atoms, the usage of 3-D models will go a long way.

If you feel that your child may be a visual learner, the good news is that he has a vivid imagination i.e. he thinks in terms of images. The moment he hears the word “dog”, perhaps he would see a dog running across the field or thumping its bushy tail next to him. However, if your child is not linguistically inclined, he may find it challenging to follow lessons in the present classroom setting, which emphasizes so much on linguistics and mathematical-logical intelligence.

If your child is already in school and has difficulty to follow lessons, instead of reprimanding him or getting upset with his school report, you need to understand that while every child is gifted one way or another, they may not be gifted in the same way. Take the time and effort to nurture his visual intelligence by presenting ideas and concepts which make use of visual effects. Bring into play colors, pictures, graphs or charts to help him understand how ideas are connected and realize how information can be grouped or organized. Pay close attention to your facial expression and body language and be expressive as you go about explaining concepts he needs assistance with. On the other hand, if your child is both a linguistic and visual learner, you can combine both methods to get the best of both worlds. With your patience, perseverance and support, there is nothing that can stop your child from reaching for the stars!

Published in ParenThink! August 2007

On Enhancing Memory Skills

2007-07-24T08:46:00.001+08:00

By Jamilah Samian

Emma vividly recalls the time her eldest son, Brian, began preschool. “He was confident, loved school and the new friends he was making,” she says. “Although he was a little hesitant on his first day of school, by the third day it was evident that he was enjoying himself. He would even give me a flying kiss when I dropped him off each morning before I went to work.”

But that was a few years years ago. Brian is now in Primary Two and it worries Emma that he doesn’t seem to be as enthusiastic about school as he once was. “He fusses that there’s too much to learn,” she says. “Just a week ago, he reported that his teacher complained he was not paying attention in class and because of that, he could not understand how to do the math sums.”

It’s a common concern among parents. While preschool may involve more play and hence, less stress among children, once they step into primary school, it’s a different story. A typical day may include learning new words, new mathematical steps to comprehend, science, social studies and so on i.e. more on processing and storing different kinds of information. How does a child cope with so many facts to remember?

To begin with, an environment of fun enhances memory; both children and adults remember facts better when they are presented in a fun way. That is why children who are blessed with teachers who teach for the love of teaching and therefore make learning fun in class, stand a better chance to excel in school. However, regardless of the kind of teachers your child has, there are ways to help him improve his memory skills.

Memory is generally classified as sensory memory, short term memory and long term memory. Sensory memory is the initial process that helps us remember things for brief periods of time which barely goes beyond several seconds. Short term memory, also known as working memory, on average, helps us to remember seven items for up to about 30 seconds. Long term memory, in comparison, is about storing vast amounts of information for long periods of time.

By and large, parents want to know how children can transform short term memory into long term memory so they can remember facts better. It is quite natural for parents to wonder if a child is born with “bad memory” if he has difficulty to remember school lessons. However, experts assert that there is no such thing as good memory or bad memory; only trained or untrained memory. Unless your child had a major brain injury, the opportunity is always there for his memory skills to be enhanced. You can help him improve his memory skills with the following:

1. Recall past events. Jog your child’s memory of past events. For example, when you are in the car driving him to school and planning for the next family trip, talk about the last trip you had. Start with the broad picture. Where did you go? Where did you stay? Then, move on to the smaller picture. Remember the room we stayed in? Was it facing the beach? Or the garden? There was a patio, right? Do you remember what color it was? And oh yes, what about the palm tree? We did bury a flag there, didn’t we? Do you think someone has found it yet? Studies show that parents can boost memory development in children by training them to zoom on the details and specifics of past events. Browsing through photos of these memorable events might help, too.

2. Have fun with memory games. Take the time to play games with your child which requires him to concentrate and recall past words. The board game Taboo, for instance, needs players to remember what words they may not utter to their team while trying their best to provide clues for persons/characters/objects they are describing. Or, board games notwithstanding, a simple game in which your child has to recall the last word you uttered to construct a sentence will do. A good time to try this game is when you are stuck in a traffic jam!

3. Break it down into chewable bits. Children feel overwhelmed when they have to, say, memorize class plays that involve many lines in less than two weeks. Just as it is impossible to chew a platter of food all at once, it is preposterous to expect a child to digest so many facts at the same time. Divide the task into smaller bytes. Ten lines of play are far more manageable if tackled one line at a time. Not only does your child’s memory skills get sharpened, his self-confidence grows, too when he realizes that what seems to be an impossible task at the beginning is actually achievable if taken and chewed one step at a time.

4. Doodle it. Many of us, children included, remember facts as mental images instead of words. That is why children may remember better when facts are associated as symbols or doodles. The secret is to store vital information as pictures. For example, to help your child remember that herbivores love plants, you can draw some teeth munching some leaves next to the word “herbivores.”

5. Tell a story. It is definitely easier to remember facts when they are presented as a story because with a story, facts fall into place in a nice flow. For instance, to remember all nine planets in the solar system (Mars, Venus etc), you can arrange the first letter of each planet’s name this way: Man-eating Violets Eat Meat Just So Ugly Nymphs Ponder.

Finally, keep in mind that children by nature are voracious learners and their natural curiosity motivates them to learn. However, there is no one size-fits-all when in comes to improving memory skills. Keep trying and don’t rush your child. It may be some time before you find a way which he or she is most comfortable with. Last but not least, memory is less efficient when the brain is overstressed, so it’s better to try the methods above when your child is alert and ready to try something new.

Published in ParenThink magazine July 2007

Working from Home with Children

2007-07-06T15:06:00.000+08:00

Jamilah will be speaking on the above topic in the "Starting Out ... It's your Choice!" seminar at Hotel Singgahsana, Petaling Jaya on 7th July 2007 @ 9.30am till 3.30pm.

Meet the Author

2007-05-21T15:53:00.000+08:00

Jamilah will be at The Weld, KL on Friday, 1st June 2007 for a Meet-the-Author session from 12.30 - 2.00pm.

Parenting Talks

2007-05-04T10:59:00.000+08:00

For a free parenting talk at your organisation/school/creche, write to Jamilah at afhjbs18@streamyx.com

Update of Events

2007-04-18T19:21:00.000+08:00

For those who missed the recent talk on "Adolescence: How Your Kids Change and How You May Need to Change Too" at Ummiku Sayang at Taipan, Subang Jaya on 24th April 2007, book yourselves for the following upcoming events:

1. Jamilah will be a panel speaker @ "Super Mums Forum" slated for Saturday, 5th May 2007. Time: 9.00am – 1.00pm. Venue: Hotel Singgahsana, Petaling Jaya. For bookings, please call Puan Zaida/Siti at 03-8024 8664.

2. Join the Official Launch of Ibu Kool Bapa Hebat (Malay version of Cool Mum Super Dad) on Sunday, 6th May 2007. Time: 3pm - 5pm. Venue: Pentas Utama, PWTC. All welcome!

3. Jamilah will be delivering a talk at UMW Toyota Motors, Shah Alam on Friday, 29th June 2007 @ 4.00pm. This event is for invited guests only.

Review by The Star

2007-04-18T19:03:00.000+08:00

How To Win Your Kids Over

Review by EVELYN LEN

A refreshing look at ways to become a better parent.

BECOMING a parent is easy enough, compared to being a great parent. If the former takes nine months and a painful labour (for the mother, at least), the latter takes a lot more work and over a much longer period, too.

This book claims to be “the straight-talking guide to making it as a parent without losing a warm enduring relationship with your child”. Certainly, it is packed with plenty of practical suggestions on how to be a good parent.

It goes beyond the usual parenting book as it touches on issues such as meeting your basic needs, self-discovery, work options and time management.

The very first thing, writes Jamilah Samian, is to take care of yourself – yes, you, the parent – and make sure that your basic needs (of body, mind and spirit) are met. Only when you are contented and fulfilled can you become a better parent, she says. That is a refreshing viewpoint, considering that nowadays many parents tend to focus so much on their children that they sometimes neglect their own needs.

Our emotional well-being rubs off on our kids, she says, matter-of-factly. Some of the practical ways in which we can meet our basic needs include getting enough sleep, eating well, exercising regularly, praying/meditating regularly, and connecting with nature. Jamilah is the mother of five boys and a girl, and she writes this book from experience. Throughout the book, she shares some of her own experiences with her children.

Before she became a full-time mum, Jamilah worked as a senior staff in a multi-national organisation. She was also once a home-based entrepreneur and an expatriate spouse in the Middle East. Today, she is a freelance writer.

Jamilah advocates self-discovery as a way to becoming a better parent. Discover yourself through personal reflection and talking with people who are close to you and care about you. Self-discovery enables you to learn what you are potentially best at, what makes you feel whole and happiest, and if you are moving in the right direction to reaching that level of happiness.
Self-discovery can also be related to our work-family options as we ponder whether we should work outside the home full-time, stay at home full-time, work part-time or work from home.
We need time for self-discovery, so time-management becomes very important and should be made the No.1 priority in our lives. Jamilah recommends looking for time-savers (as in changing the way we do things so that we save time) and being on guard against time-stealers. One of the things we could do is to be more selective about the things we must do in a day.

Jamilah puts the onus on the parent to set the tone for the parent-child relationship. If the relationship is a distant or rocky one, then the parent – rather than the child – should change first. And it is never too late to improve that relationship, she says.

She also invites us to explore why we treat our children the way we do. And that has to do with our past – how our parents treated us when we were kids. She delves into the issues of self-talk and leaving a legacy behind for our children, one that goes beyond material possessions.

Once we understand why we act the way we do towards our kids, we can then make them feel special like no one else can. An entire chapter is devoted to this topic. That is the core of the book, and covers issues such as creating enthusiasm, building optimism, how to discipline a child, refining the conscience, how we should view our kids, making our child feel valued, expectations, adolescence, sibling rivalry, and favouritism.

I found the sub-section on giftedness quite refreshing, as it helps the parent see that there is more to giftedness than passing exams. Instead of pressuring our kids to do well only in academic pursuits, we should appreciate that all children are different and, therefore, unique and special.

Not all are academically inclined; there are multiple intelligences. Your child may be word smart, number/reasoning smart, picture smart, body smart, music smart, people smart, self smart or nature smart.

Parenting is such a great challenge that we need all the help we can get. Our support network should include our spouse, friends, and the child’s teachers. Jamilah spells out some ways to go about helping our child if he/she is struggling with homework and really can do better.
The challenge grows when the child becomes a teenager. Having raised a few teens herself, Jamilah offers some helpful tips for this turbulent phase, such as respecting the teen’s privacy, being reassuring and encouraging him/her to think beyond himself/herself. And, of course, do not nag.

To make sure that everyone in the family is given the chance to be heard and understood, family meetings are vital. Jamilah gives suggestions on how to conduct them.
At the end of the book, Jamilah touches on the issue of letting go, and how to handle it when your child leaves the nest.

While it may be a sad time for many parents, it need not be devastating. It has to do with how one sees things; Jamilah suggests seeing it as the development of the parent-child relationship to the parent-friend relationship.

Cool Mum Super Dad is an interesting and enriching read. It contains so much information that it cannot be read at one go. It is better to digest the advice in bite sizes, ponder over it and then put it into practice.

The Star Thursday March 22 2007

Review by The Sun

2007-04-18T19:00:00.000+08:00

An Asian Take

by S. Indra Sathiabalan

Bringing up children is not as simple as what we see on television and that is something any parent can tell you. Communicating with them, setting boundaries and instilling values are much easier said than done.

It takes a good deal of hard work and Jamilah Samian knows all about that first hand. She is a mother to five boys and a girl whose ages range from seven to 21.

A former senior staff at a multinational company, Jamilah was also a home-based entrepreneur. She spent the past four years living in Oman when her husband was based in a multinational company there.

Jamilah, who used to write articles for a local newspaper, decided to drop everything two years ago and concentrate on writing a book about being a parent.

The book in question, Cool Mum Super Dad (RM39.90, Truewealth Publishing), was launched last month at the MPH store in 1 Utama.

"I find the relationship aspect between parents and children very challenging, especially on the parents," says the author during a break from her book tour at several major bookstores here.
"When we focus on the relationship bit, it is a win-win situation for both parents and children," she adds.

She finds that children who enjoy a strong relationship with their parents have better self-esteem. "One of the mistakes we make is that we tend to raise our children the way we have been raised.

"Parenting is a skill. We have to look back at the style we have been raised. We then use the good bits and do away with the bits we can do without."

There may be many parenting books out there but most are written from a western viewpoint.
"Although parenting is a universal challenge, our values set us apart from others," says Jamilah. Her book, therefore, caters more to an Asian style of parenting.

Jamilah uses a lot of her personal experiences in her book like how she interacts with her children. So when you read Cool Mum Super Dad, it is like one parent talking to another about how she handles such-and-such a situation.

When it comes to making decisions, both parents must back each other up, she says. "That is a very important aspect of parenthood."

If mummy says no, then daddy should say no, too.

She also advises that whenever a child is punished for doing something wrong, the parent must explain why to the child. "The general rule of thumb is to be firm but kind."

The author also disputes the assumption that children nowadays generally lack basic values because both parents are working.

"These days, most families have both parents working out of necessity. I know of working parents who are good parents and stay-at-home parents who aren't very good parents at all.
"It is [all] about the quantity and quality of time you spend with your children."

Jamilah is currently working on another parenting book but says it is not a sequel to Cool Mum Super Dad.

The Sun Thursday 28 Sep 2006

Paper AirPlanes Making & Book Talk

2007-02-10T20:21:00.000+08:00

Jamilah will be at the following venues for Paper AirPlanes Making & Book Talk:

Saturday, 27th January 2007 - MPH Subang Parade - 4pm-5pm
Saturday, 10th February 2007 - MPH 1-Utama - 3pm-4pm
Saturday, 31st March 2007 - Popular Ikano - 3.30pm-4.30pm

A free copy of COOL MUM SUPER DAD awaits the creator of the best-looking airplane!

Kid's Colouring Contest Winners at Borders The Curve

2006-11-22T14:12:00.000+08:00

Here are the results of the COOL MUM SUPER DAD Kid's Colouring Contest at Borders The Curve held on 18th November 2006!

Category: 6 - 9 years

Winner: Chloe (1 x CoolMumSuperDad book, 18 poster color c/w palette and water tray, plus a medium-sized calculator)

1^st Runner-up: Soo Ling Fai (1 x 12 pcc Buncho poster color plus a small sized calculator)

2^nd Runner-up: Erdem (1 x Staedtler complete stationery kit c/w pencil case)

Category: 10 - 12 years

Winner: Jemsen Tan (1 x CoolMumSuperDad book, 18 poster color c/w palette and water tray, plus a medium-sized calculator)

1^st Runner-up: Yong Ee Lynn (1 x 12 pcc Buncho poster color plus a small sized calculator)

2^nd Runner-up: Michelle Teh Ru-Ee (1 x Staedtler complete stationery kit c/w pencil case)

What Readers Say About COOL MUM SUPER DAD

2006-11-07T16:37:00.000+08:00

“An excellent read!“ – Ilaine Izaidin, mother of four

“I wish I had the chance to read it 23 years ago! It contains many sensible suggestions and has definitely changed the way I think about the role of motherhood. Your personal anecdotes make it very readable and real, and helped me to relate to the topics discussed. You deal with some very real issues in a down-to-earth and practical way. The book covers a wide range of subjects with advice for everyone…It’s a book that everyone would enjoy! It’s very easy to read with plenty of headings to break up the text, and I liked the way you used boxes to highlight stories.” – Chris Bunkall, mother of one, New Zealand

“I found your book refreshing, endearing and sensitive. I felt that most parents would relate to some part of the book.” – Aquil Busrai, India

“Browsed through it … the way it is presented really kept me captivated.” - Zainal Abdul Razak, father of four, Kota Damansara

“A life changing book!” – En Zainuddin, father of four, Ampang

“Finished reading it in two nights!” - Anonymous mother of four, KL

Thank you all for your feedback!

For a chance to win a free copy of COOL MUM SUPER DAD, please visit:
http://www.howtotellagreatstory.com/contest.html

Kid's Colouring Contest Winners

2006-10-22T14:38:00.000+08:00

It was a battle of creativity and talent for 21 young budding artists at the COOL MUM SUPER DAD Kids’ Colouring Contest at Borders Berjaya Times Square on 21^st October 2006. The judges had a hard time deciding who the winners were. The participants were divided into two categories; 6-9 years and 10-12 years. Winners and prizes were as follows:

Category: 6-9 years

Winner: Lim Wei Juen (1 x CoolMumSuperDad book, 18 poster color c/w palette and water tray, plus a medium-sized calculator)

1^st Runner-up: Grace Oh Sze Ern (1 x 12 pcc Buncho poster color plus a small sized calculator)

2^nd Runner-up: Rachel Wong Tze Yan (1 x Staedtler complete stationery kit c/w pencil case)

Category: 10-12 years

Winner: Lim Wei Shuang (1 x CoolMumSuperDad book, 18 poster color c/w palette and water tray, plus a medium-sized calculator)

1^st Runner-up: Muhd Hidayat Muhd Raslan (1 x 12 pcc Buncho poster color plus a small sized calculator)

2^nd Runner-up: Fatin Izlaili Zaini (1 x Staedtler complete stationery kit c/w pencil case)

Well done, kids! And a big THANK YOU to the parents who took the time to attend the contest and the author’s talk. Watch out for the next COOL MUM SUPER DAD Kids’ Colouring Contest at Borders The Curve on 18^th November 2006.

Kids' Colouring Contest & Meet-the-Author Session

2006-10-17T12:31:00.000+08:00

There will be a Kids' Colouring Contest & Meet-the-Author session at BORDERS Berjaya Times Square. Details are as follows:

21st Oct 2006

BORDERS, Berjaya Times Square
3pm - 4.30pm

The Colouring Contest is open to children 6 - 12 years old and there will be prizes for the top 3 winners! All participants will receive a BORDERS 15% discount voucher. Hurry and call 03-2141 0288 for registration.

Ordeal of a Cancer Patient

2006-10-06T17:11:00.000+08:00

To read "Ordeal of a Cancer Patient", a true recount which Jamilah wrote and was one of the winners for "My Story: Ceritaku" contest, please visit here.

Updated Author's Talk Schedule

2006-09-27T14:13:00.000+08:00

The Author's Talk schedule is updated with a new date. Mark it on your calendar!

14th Oct 2006

Booker Room, MPH 1 Utama
11am - 1pm
Jamilah will share her thoughts on “Distribution” from an author’s point of view. Talk will be specifically tailored for new and aspiring authors.

Exclusive Interview with Aneeta Sundararaj

2006-09-07T14:14:00.000+08:00

For an exclusive interview with Aneeta Sundararaj, author of The Banana Leaf Men and Snapshots!, please visit here.

Author's Talk Schedule

2006-09-05T07:22:00.000+08:00

Jamilah will be conducting her author's talk on these dates:

6th Aug 2006

MPH 1 Utama
3.30pm - 4.30pm

9th Sept 2006

MPH Alpha Angle
3pm - 4pm

23rd Sept 2006

MPH Midvalley
3pm - 4pm

30th Sept 2006

Popular IKANO
3.30pm - 4.30pm

14th Oct 2006

Booker Room, MPH 1 Utama
11.00am - 1.00pm

4th Nov 2006

Popular IOI Puchong
4pm - 5.30pm

Author's Talk Schedule

2006-08-01T12:00:00.000+08:00

Past Talks:

6th Aug 2006

MPH 1 Utama
3.30pm - 4.30pm

9th Sept 2006

MPH Alpha Angle
3pm - 4pm

23rd Sept 2006

MPH Midvalley
3pm - 4pm

Upcoming Talks:

30th Sept 2006

Popular IKANO
3.30pm - 4.30pm

14th Oct 2006

MPH 1 Utama
4pm - 5.30pm
Jamilah will share her thoughts on “Distribution” from an author’s point of view. Talk will be specifically tailored for new and aspiring authors.

4th Nov 2006

Popular IOI Puchong
4pm - 5.30pm

About Jamilah Samian

2006-08-01T00:00:00.029+08:00

Jamilah Samian began her professional career in a multinational organisation, Sarawak Shell Berhad, Lutong, in the Information Technology sector. Following that, she became a successful home-based entrepreneur providing translation and copywriting services to many public relations and advertising firms and other private organisations.

While living in the Middle-East, Jamilah began her journalism career and has since written for The New Straits Times (Malaysia), Destinations (Shell global family magazine), The Oman Economic Review, ParenThink and other print and electronic publications within and outside Malaysia.

For several years, she used to be a volunteer with the Global Outpost Network, which was an information resource and support centre catering for Shell expatriate families. The Outpost team itself comprised of spouses from various nationalities across the world.

Jamilah is an active member of the MIM (Malaysian Institute of Management) Toastmasters International and has addressed audiences at organisations including SWAN (Shell Women's Aspiration Network), TOYOTA, UTAR and Malaysian Institute of Management.

Jamilah holds a Bachelor of Science in Computer Science & Mathematics from Indiana State University (USA), Bachelor of Psychology from Upper Iowa University (USA) and Diploma in Journalism (Distinction) from the London School of Journalism (UK).

Jamilah now writes fulltime.

Career Workshops with a Difference

2006-08-01T00:00:00.025+08:00

Picture yourself at the age of 75. Compare the image with the person you are now and think of what it takes to get there. Such are the thought-provoking challenges put to participants of the career workshops for partners in the move held in Muscat, Oman, recently.

That many an expatriate partner gives up his or her career to preserve the family unit when a Shell employee is given an overseas posting is a fact which is increasingly gaining prominence in the international circuit.

“Spouses contribute greatly to the success of an employee’s assignment,” says Kathleen van der Wilk Carlton, Manager of the Spouse Employment Center in The Hague. “Shell recognizes the fact that when you move an expatriate, you move a family.”

How did the workshops come about?

“When we first started the Spouse Employment Center, we thought there were sufficient companies on the external market offering careers courses, at least in the major base countries,” explains Kathleen. “Over time, we realized that they did not meet the special needs of the expatriate spouse and that only a handful of spouses followed such courses. By contrast, our customer survey confirmed that there was a need to complement our individual services and so we decided to develop courses ourselves.”

Cooperation between MINCO and SEC

“At the same time, Mies Grijns, special projects member for MINCO (Muscat Information Network Center Oman), was convinced that there was a need for careers courses in Oman and her enthusiasm largely contributed to gaining support for us to run them locally.”

The successful organization of the courses marked a first for MINCO which had, until then, only catered for MINCO members. “Mies, Sabine Vahrenkamp and others in MINCO worked very hard to make the whole thing run smoothly,” says Kathleen.

What makes the workshops different?

Fifty-five spouses from almost ten nationalities and a wide range of professional backgrounds took part. Each of the five modules had to be run two or three times over four days because of the huge interest. There was also an opportunity for participants to speak individually with the visiting trainers. “Sharing experiences and networking with other spouses who face the same challenges were very stimulating and made me realize I wasn’t alone in my aspirations,” said Sharinaz Shafie from Kuala Lumpur, who attended the course.

Apart from enabling participants to have a clearer picture of themselves in career terms, the workshops gave them the opportunity to assess their priorities within their lives on the move. Participants learned how to manage their careers, actively search for a job in a new area and improve their CV writing and interview skills. In short, the workshops helped them feel confident enough to make a change in their current lifestyle – if and when they feel ready to do so – and gave them the tools to do so.

One question that immediately pops into mind, when faced with the prospect of relocating is, “What’s in it for me?”

“Plenty,” says Claire Ford, one of the workshop trainers. “Partners can develop a broader perspective of their own culture and become competent at managing change for themselves and for others, whether they enjoy the experience or not.”

And what kind of career is most suited for a woman on the move?

“Any opportunity that allows them flexibility, keeps them interested and motivated, stretches them mentally and gives them a sense of achievement would fit the bill perfectly.”

With constraints posed by the internal labour market, there is a widespread impression that it is extremely difficult for an expatriate spouse to work in Oman. “The truth is,” says Mies Grijns, “there is so much opportunity to develop oneself, especially in terms of education.” Sabine, for instance, discovered “a number of spouses working here. There are also lots of courses and colleges available for further studies.”

Published in Destinations, 2001

Mesmerised by Mulu

2006-08-01T00:00:00.024+08:00

Mention Borneo and some may start conjuring images of headhunters lurking in the wild. But that was many years ago and the island is now celebrated for a different reason. Within its shores lies a rare treasure millions of years old -- the Mulu caves.

From Miri, you can reach Mulu either by air, which will take only about 30 minutes, or via an eight-hour boat ride.

I find the second option more adventurous but neither practical nor appealing as I have children in tow.

Our guide met us at the Mulu airstrip. Our group of ten, comprising seven Malaysians and three Britons, then proceeded to the Royal Mulu Resort. The hotel itself was a pleasant surprise. Built on wooden stilts, the sprawling complex blended with the surrounding verdant rainforest. Its design, based on the longhouses, lent it a rustic charm.

The initial trek to the Mulu Caves began along a plank walkway about a metre high. Mulu National Park, in which the caves nestle, is a gem of a forest. Thousands of species of ferns, fungi, mosses and flowering plants snuggle among each other. Creepers dangle from the boughs of towering trees. Tree tops conspire to provide a canopy that shelter visitors from the afternoon heat.

I was mesmerised by the shimmering rays of lights that poked through the dense canopy to reach and nurture the thriving flora on the forest floor. Small wonder then, that Unesco inscribed the park as a World Heritage Site on November 27, 2000 citing it as an area of exceptional natural beauty.

Forty-five minutes on, the entrance to Lang Cave greeted us. Electric lights plus a cement pathway joined intermittently by wooden steps, with firm handrails mounted against inclines, ensured we didn’t lose our way. Stalactites and stalagmites glinted with moisture.

The whole interior was enveloped in darkness. I had read about how spectacular the rock formations in Lang Caves were but in reality, they were far more magnificent. Some of the shapes and patterns resembled creatures and scenes of the rainforest itself. Razor-sharp daggers stared down from the ceiling. It was as if someone had brought in a colossal piece of ivory and sculpted a priceless masterpiece that took millions of years to complete.

A short distance away was Deer Cave, the largest cave passage known to man and home to millions of bats. Long ago, hordes of deer used to roam within its walls to seek shelter and lick salt.

“Talk if you must,” said the guide before we stepped in, “but keep your voices low.” Loud noises may distress the bats. I stood on the cement walkway, dwarfed by its sheer magnitude. Caverns lunge into nothingness. The cave is said to be large enough to contain 20 wide-bodied Boeing 747s parked side by side.

I hadn’t gone far when an acrid smell permeated the air. “Keep your hands off the handrails,” said the guide. They are covered with bat guano. Besides, there are hordes of hairy earwigs, which love greasy stuff. It’s difficult to get them off once they cling to your skin. I shone my torchlight around. Heaps of bat guano surrounded us.

The roosting bats, however, weren’t visible in the dimly lit area. Because of the bat excreta, the whole area was teeming with creepy-crawlies like cockroaches, beetles and flies that feed on it!

At 6pm, we adjourned to the bat observatory near the mouth of the cave to witness the climax of the evening: migration of the bats into the jungle to forage for food.

It wasn’t long before the first batch appeared. One minute they were hovering near the mouth of the cave. The next, they had transformed into a black wavy cloud and had snaked out of view.

Dusk began to descend as we trudged back to our lodgings. We had covered more than six kilometres by foot. Syarif, 7, began to complain of exhaustion. I had unwittingly tied my shoelaces a trifle too tight when we set off and now had a pair of blistery feet to reckon with. Carrying a seven-year-old was out of the question.

“I’ll share with you a little secret,” I whispered. “Lean on me and hold my hand tight. My energy will flow into you.” It worked. A few metres ahead, five-year-old Siraj, the youngest member of the group, was dozing on his father’s shoulder.

The next morning we cruised along the Melinau River. It was shallow in some parts and at times, the guide’s partner had to nudge the boat with a long, sturdy stick. We visited a Penan settlement before proceeding to a small quay. We ascended the winding steps that flanked the limestone cliff to reach the Wind Cave. The breeze at the entrance was invigorating.

Inside lies the King’s Chamber, an area which contains stalactities and stalagmites. We negotiated the slippery planks up a steep incline more than 200 metres high that led to Clearwater Cave. Within the limestone cavern, a river meanders. The sound of rolling water was like music to the ears.

With more than 100km explored so far, the cave is easily the longest in Southeast Asia. A small pool at the entrance welcomes visitors who desire a refreshing dip. If the adventurous streak hits you while in Mulu and you are not satisfied with just seeing the caves, the National Park Department has identified a number of sites suitable for adventure caving trips that will put your mental and physical fitness to the test.

Published in Life & Times, New Straits Times on 25 October 2003

On the Road to Mecca

2006-08-01T00:00:00.023+08:00

Travelling almost 6,000km overland through sometimes harsh desert terrain with five children in tow may not be everybody’s idea of a holiday. But, for six-month pregnant Jamilah Samian, this one came with a bonus. For their destination was the holy city of Mecca. Today, on the eve of Hari Raya Haji, she shares with us the excitement and reverence of the 15-day trip.

And so it was decided. We would travel by land from Muscat, Oman, to Mecca to perform the umrah (minor pilgrimage).

We had first contemplated making the journey when my husband Fakhri was offered a cross-posting in a multinational company in Muscat over a year ago.

Although both of us had performed the hajj back in 1988, it had been our dream ever since to revisit the holy city with the children.

Barely two months after we set foot in the Gulf, and hardly had we settled down, the question was posed to us by my husband’s Omani colleague Jumea Al-Harthy and his wife, Awatif: Would we like to join their family on a land trip to Mecca in the coming summer?

It was only our second meeting with them and the offer took us completely by surprise. Although we had been reassured on how smooth the road leading to Mecca was, the fact remained that vast expanses of land through which the road ran are actually uninhabited.

Travelling in summer would pose its own perils, too. We would have to deal with soaring temperatures running to 50C in unfriendly terrain.

The international driving license I possessed was not recognised in Oman. Besides, women are not allowed to drive in Saudi Arabia. This meant that Fakhri would have to be the sole driver. Stops are few and far between and if we ran into trouble, getting assistance would be no easy task.

I would also be quite heavily pregnant by the time we made the journey.

Needless to say, we were most concerned about the safety aspects. Would we be able to endure the grueling journey?

A few weeks passed. But the more we thought about the matter, the more convinced we were that this was indeed a once-in-a-lifetime chance. The fact that Jumea had made the trip on two previous occassions with his colleagues made us confident.

Almost immediately, the frenzy of getting things done started. Ten years ago, when we wanted to perform the Hajj, all we did was register with the Lembaga Urusan dan Tabung Haji in Kuala Lumpur, settle the payment and attend some familiarization courses.

Now it was a totally different story. We had to apply for visas for three different countries, namely the United Arab Emirates, Saudi Arabia and Bahrain.

Although Saudi Arabia is next to Oman, there is no road system linking the two countries and we would have to use the coastal road, passing through the UAE before reaching Saudi Arabia.

Oh, the bureaucracy involved! Each country had its own visa application requirements. Saudi Arabia’s visa application form had to be translated to Arabic, Bahrain’s must be type-written. It took hours merely to sort out these essentials, not to mention the many trips to the respective embassies.

A month before the agreed departure date, the four of us adults sat down and drew a detailed plan and compiled a list of provisions. We had wanted to travel light yet essentials had to include cooking utensils, medical supplies, collapsible tent, potable water and dry food. And oh, a roof carrier, battery cable jumper, towing wire rope and road maps.

D-Day came. July 30, 1998. At 5am our home in Dhiab Street was a bustle of activity. The kids, all hyped up, were easily aroused from sleep. The sun was shining brightly as we set off after a brief prayer.

It was a smooth ride and we reached the UAE checkpoint at Buraimi about three hours later. Processing proved rather brisk and it took merely 15 minutes to clear immigration.

A quick snack followed before we pressed on towards Sila, 400km away, the UAE exit checkpoint before stepping on Saudi soil. By now, the kids were keeping themselves entertained with the board games and toys they had brought along.

Although the vehicle’s air-conditioning system was working well, we had no illusions about the soaring temperature outside as could be seen by the mirages that loomed endlessly ahead of us. By then, we were going at an average speed of 140km/hr.

On reaching Sila, we spotted a decent restaurant to have our lunch. The scorching sun relentlessly hit our faces as we dashed from the vehicles to the booked family room. It was time to feast on the fare we had brought from home.

It is common for restaurants in this region to have separate family rooms as womenfolk here normally adorn veils that would make it difficult to enjoy meals in public.

Laughter filled the room as someone remarked that the silence was a dead giveaway to how famished we were!

I was buoyed by a great feeling of camaraderie as we took our seats to share the rendang and nasi lemak and taste the Swahili pilau rice that our Omani companions had prepared.

By the time we arrived at the Saudi Arabian checkpoint, there were hordes of vehicles ahead. As the men went to get the passports stamped, we downed plenty of cold drinks which provided some respite against the blazing sun.

The waiting game ended a good two hours later, but everyone was in high spirits despite being drenched in sweat as we took off again.

I presume most of us have a stereotype idea of how deserts look like. I, for one, had been told that there was practically “nothing of interest there”.

This was not altogether true as deserts differ. While some offer gentle, wavy slopes of sand dunes, others have great stony structures in shades of green, black and orange.

Natural vegetation is sparse, but the efforts of some countries to green the environment, notably Oman, are commendable.

We finally descended upon Al-Hafof, the next rendezvous, at about 8pm. Night had set in. Fortunately, we successfully secured two apartments at fairly reasonable rates. We had clocked 1,100km in 14 hours on the first day.

The experience had taught us one valuable lesson: To arrive at an unfamiliar destination after dark is not a very wise thing to do. Not all the streets were lit and road signs were difficult to decipher. We were determined to reach Medina before dusk the next day, so we set off shortly after daybreak.

Soon, the greenery and edifices of Al-Hafof tapered off and gave way to a seemingly endless sea of sand. No shelter was to be seen for miles. A tingle of fear crept up and I quietly prayed.

At a certain stretch of the highway, road signs appeared cautioning motorists to beware of camels crossing. Sure enough, herds of them began to appear some distance away. We had a close encounter with one animal when it decided to cross the path with our very eyes with a Bedouin perched on top. My, wasn’t it huge!

Both drivers were exhausted. The roasting heat was too much to endure. I was dozing off when Fakhri said he was sleepy. Wedged between the driver’s seat and mine was a mini-freezer. I groped for a bottle of cold water to splash on my husband’s face.

Soon, we found ourselves crossing the 10km mark towards Medina. The children cheered as the audio system reverberated with a song by popular Malaysian nasyid group Raihan.

There was a sudden surge of adrenalin as the countdown began. The first roundabout at Medina came into full view shortly. Minutes later, a service station that resembled a space station caught our attention. Before us, the minarets of the Prophet’s Mosque rose majestically in awesome grandeur.

The next three days saw us courting the mosque which was a mere two-minute walk from our modest two-bedroom quarters. The lofty ceilings and cool marble floors evoked an aura of peace and tranquility as we stood before the Prophet’s burial chamber.

On the second day, we rented a bus and called on the more significant historical grounds.

The moment came soon to bid farewell as we still had to pursue our final destination. The route to Mecca, 400km away, didn’t seem too daunting in comparison to the few thousand kilometres we had conquered.

But first, we had to dorn the special umrah garb at a small town called Bir Ali, 350km from Mecca. As the men took their shower, the rest of us took stock of the mosque which was equipped with 1,000 bathrooms.

It was difficult to keep our emotions in check as we entered the gates of the holy city. This was the moment we had waited for the last two months; nay, the past ten years.

Joy overwhelmed us as we soaked in the sights and smells. Despite it being an off-peak season, the narrow avenues of Mecca were choking with traffic. Our lodgings found, we got down to performing the umrah that very afternoon.

The kids were visibly struck with awe as they gazed at the magnificent Kaabah draped in dark green silk. An ambience of reverence prevailed as we purposefully strode down the steps towards it. It was quite unlike the hajj season when throngs of pilgrims would flock the site. Still, there was quite a crowd.

We were initially concerned that the presence of the children might hamper the smooth course of the pilgrimage but our fears proved unfounded. They were cooperative, having been briefed on the significance of all the deeds we had to accomplish.

Before we knew it, the moment came to pack and head for home. Our hearts were heavy as we said our final goodbyes. We did not envision making the passage again in the near future, and so took the opportunity to visit some other metropolis on our way home,including the sprawling city of Riyadh.

Here, we brought the kids to the zoo before heading for Dammam’s family amusement park. This was followed by the sovereign island of Bahrain.

Fifteen days from the day we started our adventure, we again crossed the border of Oman. We had trekked almost 6,000km and despite the overwhelming weariness, elation filled everyone as we finally reached home. We did it!

Published in Life & Times, New Straits Times

Ramadan in Oman

2006-08-01T00:00:00.022+08:00

In Oman, Malaysian Muslims welcome Ramadan in a nation where more than half a million expats seek a living and cars are given away every day of the holy month in raffle draws, says Jamilah Samian.

On a rugged and hilly terrain in Muscat, Oman, several Acacia tortilis (fodder trees in desert sands) stand along the paved street leading to a double-storey, semi-detached residence that has been home to Sharinaz Shafie and her family for almost four years.

Petunia blossoms grace several houses in the quiet neighbourhood and a gentle breeze blows – signs that the hot and humid autumn is finally giving way to a cool and pleasant winter that normally lasts until April.

“This is the best thing about Ramadan here,” says Sharinaz. “Fasting in winter means shorter hours as the sun sets at about 6pm.” The fact that she is a homemaker means she has time to prepare home-cooked delicacies.

“In Kuala Lumpur, breaking fast was often a rushed affair. Buka puasa right in the middle of a traffic jam was normal for me,” says the former stocks analyst.

The beauty about being in Oman during Ramadan is that the best dates in the world are readily available. There are more than 40 kinds grown here. Also, the Arabic sweet baklava is unique to this part of the world. “It is no substitute for our traditional kuih but nice and different in its own way,” says Norazizah Ahmad, a compliance analyst.

“It’s our third Ramadan here,” says Norazizah’s husband Ismail Said, a human resource strategy planning & projects manager. “I look forward to local invites as it is an opportunity to learn more about local customs and cultures. I find it enriching thus far.”

In the multinational organization where both Norazizah and Ismail are employed, work this month stops officially at 1pm and non-Muslims have to delay lunch hour until 2pm.

At the onset of Ramadan, the company requests everyone to refrain from eating in public places. There are also designated areas in the office for them to have their morning coffee and afternoon tea.

New arrivals like Sharifah Naziha Syed Jamalil Idrus, an English teacher for the Royal Oman Paramedics who moved to Muscat several months ago, however, are still making adjustments. “As much as I look forward to this new experience, nothing beats the feeling of breaking fast and going to the mosque for tarawih prayers with the family back home,” she says. “And my, do I miss Malaysian food expecially the hot steaming nasi lemak and rendang, wrapped in banana leaves!”

The good news is that, with the recent opening of Holiday Villa, a Malaysian owned hotel cum restaurant in Muscat, Malaysians now have a choice of dining out on Malaysian cuisine. The establishment even has an authentic ais kacang machine to boot.

Traditionally, Malaysian and Bruneian Muslims team up and take turns to play host in a different house each week with every family contributing a dish. This helps generate a sense of fellowship.

There are others like Ahmad Fakhri Hamzah, a human resource executive, who had the priviledge of experiencing Ramadan in the interior where the oil fields are. “Just before maghrib, dates and laban (buttermilk) will be laid on the mat in an open area beside the mosque for us to break fast,” he said. “After prayers, there will be a grand spread with briyani, fresh mutton and even camel meat and sweetmeats. An all-time favourite dessert is Umm Ali, a milky and creamy bread-like pudding sprinkled with nuts and raisins.

“The dining hall in the oil field complex is open till the wee hours of the morning, offering four different menus each evening.”

His family also did something different last year. “We had many non-Muslim friends in the expatriate community who shared their fears and concerns following the September 11 tragedy. They were concerned about the hostilities developing between Muslims and non-Muslims in the region.”

Then he found about the Dubai government’s efforts to reach out to non-Muslims in the holy month. “That prompted us to invite some non-Muslims for dinner, beginning with our children’s teachers, most of whom were British. It was a great learning experience for everyone in the family.”

“It’s a bit unconventional as we normally keep Ramadan to ourselves but we thought, if we could make a tiny difference for the sake of world peace, why not? We also invited some Muslims from other parts of the world including Syrians, Indonesians, Nigerians and, of course, Omanis for iftar (breaking of fast) to appreciate the oneness of Islam, although they all come from different schools of thought, which is part of the beauty of Islam.”

Published in Life & Times, New Straits Times, November 12, 2002

Savouring Bangkok

2006-08-01T00:00:00.021+08:00

Bargains galore. Exotic sights and food. The tuk-tuk. Jamilah Samian experienced these and more during her trip to Bangkok.

As the brass band across the field at Sanam Luang, Bangkok played the national anthem, everyone stood erect. Many had enjoyed the candle-lit celebration, held to commemorate King Bhumibol Adulyadej’s birthday the day before.

At 76, the King is very much revered and adored by his subjects as he often goes out of his way to see that his people’s needs are met. Last year, for instance, he expressed his dismay about the illicit drug trade in his birthday address. Still, these undercurrents are not obvious in Sanam Luang, a big field across the Grand Palace. The band’s performance ended and I continued with my stroll, browsing through the items offered by the street vendors.

The peddler before me rattled off a string of words in Thai. I presumed she was telling me the value of the socks she was trying to sell. At the prompt of “How much?” she whipped out a calculator, keyed in the numbers and held it up for me to see.

By eight, the streets across the Grand Palace were thick with activity. The shophouses adjacent to Na Phra Lan Post-Office are reminiscent of those of the Peranakan in Malacca. A few metres away in a wooden seat, a homeless man slept, oblivious to the din, his pillow a plastic bag full of his worldly belongings.

Further up, two elderly women took their time feeding a flock of ravenous pigeons. Nearby, a barber was trimming a customer’s overgrown beard in a makeshift tent. A monk walked past. The Thais are predominantly Buddhist and the faith is deeply ingrained in their lives. The taxi driver who drove me to Sanam Luang had a miniature Buddha anchored on the dashboard.

My earliest recollections of Thailand were of boats laden with colorful fresh produce at the floating market along the river Chao Phraya. It was the front cover of The Asia Magazine that I had read years ago. Along Phra Chan Road in Bangkok, numerous street vendors put up amulets for sale. A soprano’s high-pitched voice belted out what sounded like Thai opera from an outlet selling traditional medicines.

I had very much wanted to see the Grand Palace. Located next to Wat Phra Keow, this magnificent royal compound is where important religious and royal ceremonies are conducted. Alas, it’s not available for public viewing due to a ceremony taking place in conjunction with the King’s birthday.

By mid-morning, the palace grounds were full of tourists and their guards. Should I take a ride down the Chao Phraya?

Shady trees and cobbled pedestrian walkways coupled with a slight breeze made the hike to Pra Chan Pier a pleasant one. I paid 20 baht and boarded the waiting boat. A ride across the river and back would be the acid test but barely ten minutes later, I was back at the pier – the waters were too choppy to my liking. I would have to abandon romantic plans of cruising down the river for a more practical one.

My partner and I opted instead for a tuk-tuk, which is essentially a motorised, battery-operated open-air trishaw. Never having ridden one before, the two of us suddenly realised how vulnerable we were as the driver went full throttle and whizzed through the heavy traffic.

I clung on as we zig-zagged and dodged buses, vans and cars. After ten minutes, I began to relax and reassured myself that the driver knew what he was doing. Well, he did drop us off ten minutes earlier than scheduled at the Chatuchak Weekend Market, one of the largest open-air flea markets in the world. We joined the crowd descending upon the market, which is touted as a must-see tourist spot.

The sprawling complex is partitioned into many sections, joined together by narrow alleyways. Section One sells images of the Buddha while another section specialises in pets from chameleons to tortoises in terrariums to rabbits and birds. A long segment is reserved for cock-fighting enthusiasts. There was even a busker, a harmonica between his lips and guitar in hand, with a piece of cloth spread out on the ground for generous contributors to place their money in.

Another section offered home furnishings and even door-to-door packaging and delivery services. A few metres away were agricultural products among which were, of course, orchids. At lunch time, we headed for the Saman Islamic Restaurant, located near the big clock that stood out at the centre of the market. I ordered iced longan and chicken briyani with sizzling hot tomyam plus some sambal petai. The tomyam, a fiery brew with lots of cili padi, was just what I was looking for.

Thai women struck me as very gentle, speaking in a melodious lilting tone, like the waitress attending to me. On the way back to my lodging, I cringed at the sight of an old Caucasian man walking hand-in-hand with a scantily clad young Thai girl who couldn’t be more than twenty years old. It reminded me of Patpong, the red-light district, despite the Government’s efforts to change its image.

There are some things I will never understand.

Published in Life & Times, New Straits Times

The Bountiful Souk of Arabia

2006-08-01T00:00:00.020+08:00

In fifteen years, Jamilah Samian has moved from systems analyst to copywriter / translator to freelance writer. She now lives in Muscat, Oman with her husband and six children.

Men clad in white, flowing dishdashas sit on long benches or squat on the paved sidewalk, seemingly oblivious to passers-by. They bask in the mild breeze, which wafts down the long, sweeping Mutrah corniche. The setting sun glimmers on the horizon, sending rays of light in magenta, orange and turquoise that reflect over undulating, soft ripples which caress the shallow sands.

Several metres beyond the gentle waves stands an imposing concrete gateway bereft of ostentation. There is little to suggest the architectural treasures that lie ahead. Yet, one step aside is sufficient to tell that this is no ordinary shopping bazaar.

Welcome to the Mutrah souk, a traditional Omani market and reputedly one of the best of its kind in Arabia.

It is Mutrah’s main alley that has earned the souk its fame. Simple geometric patterns in bright hues of red, yellow, blue and black weave their way overhead, forming a canopy which exudes an aura of majestic grandeur upon the mundane pursuits below. Ornately carved lights hang delicately from the ceiling. Surely, this is the most exquisite feature of the souk.

The sweet aroma of frankincense welcomes every newcomer into the souk. Here, as in other parts of Oman, business gains greater momentum as dusk starts to fall. Soaring summer temperatures, coupled with high humidity, discourage locals and foreigners from roaming beyond the comforts of their abode during the daytime. It is simply cooler to shop at night.

The atmosphere resounds with light-hearted banter. An air of warm dignity abounds as each trader endeavours to coax customers into their shop. Further down the alley, a solitary lady shrouded in black sits patiently, peddling her wares of perfumes and traditional concoctions. She is a picture of cool composure, pitting her entrepreneurial skills against the more established outlets. Nearby, an energetic youth performs the onerous task of pulling a sturdy cart, skilfully dodging oncoming traffic.

The Mutrah souk, which nestles about three kilometres northwest of Muscat, offers an amazing array of goods, both modern and antique. This, arguably, is the most awesome feature of the establishment. Household wares stand for the picking; personal items are ready to adorn you from head to foot. Kettles from by-gone decades parade next to modern ones.

A few of the outlets also offer an excellent choice of Omani silverware that includes a wide range of personal jewellery. Some of these dangle on the walls along with the famed Khanjar (a curved dagger), framed to perfection. Polished brass gleams proudly amongst ornately carved regalia. Vintage wooden chests, mellowed to an alluring deep brown shade, beckon antique enthusiasts.

Many of the traders are Indians, which reflects the close Indo-Omani relationship in this region. Most of them are fluent in English and Arabic, while some are even conversant in Swahili, a widely spoken African tongue.

A labyrinth of narrow alleys fork from the souk’s main passage. The shops in these alleys are smaller, but some of their offerings are fascinating. There are freshly ground spices with aromas to invigorate and tempt the palate of any would-be cook who happens by. Further on, some huge cauldrons – gigantic pots and pans that could hold a feast for thousands! Parts of the passages of the older sections are not paved but are extremely well-trodden and surprisingly clean. There is no telltale sign of the recent fire that partly razed the souk.

Down the main alley, an air-conditioned coffee-shop offers some respite against the humid evening heat, whipping up freshly-squeezed, thirst-quenching fruit juices along with the ever popular shawarma, the local version of the fast-food burger. Those with a craving for sugar will find a treat in helwa, a traditional finger-licking sweet for Eid and other celebrations.

Despite the abundance of modern shopping complexes in Muscat, there has yet to be an establishment that challenges the special charm of the Mutrah souk. Is it simply the availability of a wide range of merchandise at reasonable prices that keeps the old and young flocking back to its premises, or the richness of the ambience that draws you to explore its every shop and alleyway?

Whatever the reason, the Mutrah souk has successfully sailed into the current millenium as a proud beacon of Oman’s fine heritage.

Published in Special Feature, Destinations

How I Became an Author

2006-08-01T00:00:00.019+08:00

In 1998, I moved to the Middle East with my husband and kids. I had, until then, ran a lucrative home based business.

In a country which did not recognise my Malaysian driver’s license and prohibited expatriate spouses from work without special permits which were, by all accounts, difficult to obtain, I was soon bored to tears.

After some soul-searching, I decided to try my hand at writing. After all, I told myself, I have always had good grades with my essays at school.

I approached a local magazine and they welcome me to try an article. I submitted it a week after.

Several days later, the editor rang me up. “You don’t know the fundamentals of journalism,” he said.

The words stung. “What do you mean?” I asked. “Did you butcher my story?”

“I can understand how upset you are at what I said because that’s exactly how I felt when someone commented on my writing when I first became a writer. But,” he went on, “I do believe that you have the heart and mind of a writer.”

“I’ll show him what a good writer I am,” I thought, my pride wounded.

It didn’t take me long to start on a long distance freelance journalism course which I completed in a quarter of the time (I was given two years and I did it in six months) with Distinction.

I was soon writing for an English Malaysian daily and a couple of English magazines.

In 2003, I decided to go one step further. Writing articles had become less of a challenge; I needed something that would test my mental stamina further. I decided to write a book.

It took me two years to complete my first book “Cool Mom, Super Dad” and along the way, the difficulties that came my way were such that it did cross my mind to throw in the towel.

Three things kept me going and made my dream of becoming an author a reality.

First, I am passionate about writing and I chose a subject which I really care about.

Second, I’ve been raised by parents who made me believe that I could do anything.

Third, I’m married to a man who would ask, “What will the kids say?” each time I wondered aloud if I should call it quits.

If you are an aspiring author and wish for some advice on how to get your book published, I find Mary Embree’s input spot-on with my own experience. I came across her advice only after I have completed my book project and signed a book deal with the publisher.

Best Wishes,
Jamilah

Cool Mum Super Dad

2006-08-01T00:00:00.018+08:00

The Straight Talking Guide to Making it as a Parent Without Losing a Warm Enduring Relationship with Your Child.

"A creative treasure for parents. You will be able to relate to these moments that make parenting such a challenging yet rewarding experience"

- Yew Kam Keong, Ph. D (Dr. YKK)
International Speaker and best-selling author on creativity

For many parents, the moment a child is born, a question pops up: Now what? Since time immemorial, parenting means different things to different people. To some, it's a source of delight, bliss and contentment from day one. To others, it's a bitter sweet, sometimes mind-boggling affair, full of surprises, that stretches them to the limit virtually every minute of the day. "Cool Mum Super Dad" is written especially with the latter in mind.

Discover:

What makes a mom cool and a dad super
Who the happiest and most fulfilled parents are
How little things can make a big difference in parenting
How your personal history and upbringing define the way you parent
Why the relationship aspect is key to a happier and healthier you
Why fulfilling your needs is crucial to becoming a better parent
Optimism: the "magic shield" in parenting
Forgiveness and how to set a forgiving atmosphere at home
Anger and what it does
How girls are different from boys
How to deal with sibling rivalry and adolescence

Available at all leading bookstores (Malaysia).

To order a copy online, contact the author.

Arabia Wild Wonders of the Wahiba Sands

2006-08-01T00:00:00.017+08:00

A breakaway in an arid desert offers its own allure and charm, but perhaps not for the faint-hearted, says Jamilah Samian

The Al-Areesh Desert Camp claims to be the largest tourist camp in Oman. This is where the adventurous descend from all over the world to taste life in the Arabian desert.

Strategically located in the Sharqiyah region about two-and-a-half hours drive from Muscat, it promises the ‘ultimate in Bedu comfort’.

Imagine living in a commune consisting of tents made of date-palm fronds. Each tent is large enough for three single beds. Straw mats replace lush carpets. No television or telephone lines here.

The camp is almost devoid of modern amenities except for clean showers and flush toilets.

It took me three years to agree to this trip primarily because camping out in a vast ocean of sand isn’t my idea of a perfect vacation. After all, what can one do with nothingness all around?

I was about to find out that the desert is full of treasures and actually fun.

After a hearty lunch, the kids sandskied, scampered and romped their hearts out while I stretched out on a comfy bed with fresh linen.

The tent interior covered with tarpaulin was surprisingly cool and offered ample shelter against the sun.

The aroma of freshly ground coffee and dates served round the clock proved tempting.

Our first stop was a Bedu family. Bedus live a simple life but the lady who welcomed us was a gracious hostess, adorned with genuine gold jewelry although neither she nor her children wore any kind of footwear.

True to Arab hospitality, we were soon offered kahwa – piping hot Omani black coffee served in tiny cups.

After a camel ride that required skilful dismounting techniques unfamiliar to inexperienced riders, we went sand dune bashing.

There we clung to dear life as our driver criss-crossed the numerous rugged peaks and valleys of the Wahiba Sands. There were moments when I truly thought that my life hung precariously in the balance as we careened dangerously close to sheer drops of 70 feet.

However, the climax came soon after dusk.

Whilst fellow campers from South Africa and Switzerland revelled in the lively beat of Bedu music, we retreated onto unsheltered, raised platforms and the warmth of our sleeping bags.

When darkness fell the first star appeared, followed by thousands others and as the obscurity deepened so their brilliance intensified. We only retreated indoors when the temperature dropped and the dew began to descend.

As we prepared to leave the next day, it dawned upon me that the trip was one of the most hair-raising but enchanting experiences I ever had. And no, I didn’t miss my e-mails. Adieu, Wahiba Sands!

Published in Destinations, 20 September 2001