My Alternative E-mail Address

I am currently having problems with my streamyx line. If you wrote to me recently and haven't got any response from me, please forward your email to my alternative address at jamilah.samian@gmail.com

Inconvenience regretted. Thank you :)

Nurturing Creativity in Kids

by Jamilah Samian

What we say or do has far-reaching consequences on the ability of our kids to think and act creatively

Legend has it that ancient Singapore, or Temasek as it was then called, was once invaded by shoals of todak or swordfish. The sea creatures became such a menace that the King ordered his subjects to do away with them. On the appointed day, the brave people of the island descended upon its shores, keen to wipe out the todak once and for all. But it didn’t take them long to realize they were no match for the fishes. One by one the men fell as the agile todak pierced them with their razor sharp snouts. At that moment, a young boy named Hang Nadim came up with a suggestion: Instead of human shields, why not place banana trunks along the beach to snare the fishes? This turned out to be a brilliant idea! The swordfishes’ snouts were trapped and scores of lives were spared.

The story of Hang Nadim was but one of many that illustrate what happens when children are allowed to think creatively. Some of these kids went on to become great inventors. My guess is that, these idea generators had someone, quite likely a parent or guardian, who had backed them up, fired up their imagination and kept the creative juices flowing in them. It would be difficult to imagine life today without the many designs that are the fruits of labour of people who had concocted exceptional ideas. From mobile phones to the Internet to laser surgery, these inventions had made great improvements in our daily lives. Throughout the ages, creativity has turned impossibilities into realities. Even in times of war, it is the human trait of creativity that may have the last word on who wins or loses. Had someone not thought of the Trojan Horse, the nearly vanquished Greeks might not have conquered the Trojans and made history!

What is creativity anyway? Quite simply, creativity is bringing something new into being. While the debate rages on among psychologists whether creativity is something you are born with or is influenced by the environment, I believe there is much that we parents can do to nurture our children’s creativity. To this end, I would like to suggest that you:

- Entertain your child’s curiosity. Creativity thrives on curiosity. The more you encourage your child’s curiosity, the more creative he gets. Consider George de Mestral, the inventor of Velcro. In the early 1900s, he was a young boy who loved the outdoors and inventing. In fact, his creative streak won him his first patent for a toy plane at the tender age of 12. Each time after his outing with his dog, George was annoyed by the Burdock seeds (a prickly fauna) that stuck to his hunting pants and dog’s fur as it took him hours to remove them. George examined the seeds under the microscope and noticed that each seed had hundreds of tiny hooks that locked themselves onto the fabric of his pants or his dog’s fur. This gave him the germ of an idea and years after much experimenting, Velcro, the hook & loop fastener, was born.

- Tell your child that creativity has numerous forms. Because the media has a tendency to refer to certain expressions of artistic pursuits like painting, drawing, acting and dancing as forms of creativity, a child may think that he is not creative because he has no interest in any of these areas. This notion may be further reinforced at learning centres when the children who are able to paint or draw better are referred to as “creative”, which may unwittingly suggest that the other children who are not able to paint or draw as well are not creative. Tell your child that these only represent certain forms of creativity, and creativity encompasses a much wider meaning and possibility. In fact, it is the ability to creatively solve problems and overcome difficult situations that will help your child to not only survive but thrive in the long run.

- Encourage your child to think differently. Creativity often involves the ability to think out of the ordinary. It is the courage of those who dared to think in contrasting ways that has continually made a lasting impact to human lives. Children by nature are born creative. However, to remain creative, they need constant motivation. This is because, creativity involves two processes i.e. thinking and producing. All you have to do is to provide a safe environment for this to happen. For example, if you see your child stacking up a set of wooden blocks horizontally again and again, ask him, ”Is there a way to arrange them another way?”

- Be prepared to invest. Your child might need your help to provide the resources to turn his ideas into reality. For this to occur, you might have to set aside your time and money. Think of the time and money that you incur as an investment rather than cost. Even if things don’t work out as expected, assure your child that it’s okay ... he would have learnt something new along the way.


I must tell you, however, that the story of Hang Nadim had a cruel twist to it. His smart thinking made him a subject of both admiration and envy in the island. One day, someone convinced His Majesty that the boy will be a threat to his influence and power. In the end, Hang Nadim was ordered thrown into the sea. While we parents may not treat our children the way the King did, some of us, who have been conditioned to think that parents always know better, may feel threatened with the unconventional thinking that they might come up with. We may even feel defensive or ruffled if we find ourselves unable to respond adequately to our children's queries and their many questions of "Why". The thing is, children have to learn that parents do not have the answers to everything. To keep the creative strain in your child alive and well, do not ridicule or laugh at him when he conceives thoughts that seem crazy or out of this world. Without your timely support and understanding, your child's creative aspirations may remain just that - an ignored figment of his imagination that will soon fade into nothingness and never see the light of day.

Published in Parenthood magazine, September 2007 issue

SOHO Conference Sept 3 2007 at Berjaya Times Square

I facilitated the "Working from Home: Smart Strategies for a Thriving Home Business and a Balanced Life" workshop at the recent SOHO (Small Office Home Office) Conference held on September 3rd 2007 at Berjaya Times Square. Many of the questions raised by participants brought back memories of how difficult it was for me to begin working from home 14 years ago.

At that time, I had no one to turn to ... I didn't know who to ask when the going got tough! I recall that the decision to work from home was made because it made sense to me; although at that time it did not to many others, friends and family included.

The 1.5-hour session did not allow much to be covered - I only managed to provide glimpses and a general idea of how to start and run a SOHO. Certainly, running a SOHO is not for everyone. It only works if you truly love what you do and are determined to succeed. Plus, you MUST have a healthy dose of positive thoughts on a daily basis!

The session served as a preview for a comprehensive workshop to be held later this year, most likely in December. Look out for an announcement in this blog as well as at e-homemakers!

Learning it the Visual Way

by Jamilah Samian

Visual learning is much more than retaining, comprehending and organizing information using pictures and colors

For as long as I could remember, I love the printed word and all that is associated with it. When I was in school, I would devour the new text books that my parents bought before the school term began. It wasn’t long before this love developed into something else. By the time I was in secondary school, to my surprise, not only was I looking forward to writing essays in class; I was even enjoying examinations where my writing ability was put to the test!

Indeed, my love affair with the printed word has stood the test of time. Today, I am the proud author of two books and I love writing so much that I would write for free. Interestingly, none of my siblings who are professionals in their own right display an affinity for words as much as I do. I am the only one in my family whose passion for words is sufficient to drive me to stay awake at night thumbing through my trusted thesaurus and dictionary for that one particular word or string of words which would allow me to express my thoughts eloquently.

My daughter, on the other hand, learns quite differently. Ever since she was a toddler, she has a way with colors and pictures. When she was in kindergarten, one of the things she really enjoyed doing was doodling. I had this stack of used papers one side of which were blank, which she would use whenever she felt the urge to doodle. Though she is now a teenager, her love for drawing has not diminished in any way. In fact, she is into them now more than ever.

To help her remember the facts in her Biology lessons, for example, she has literally turned her textbook into pages and pages of mind maps which explode with colors, pictures, charts and diagrams to represent ideas and information. Even the minimum words that she uses for these mind maps are written in different colors and sizes. Not only that, the words are highlighted with curved lines, or set in bold or italics. She would readily vouch that she learns best in this way; that endless words in the textbooks overwhelm her.

If you have a child like my daughter, it is likely that he is a visual learner. The idea that we all may not learn best in the same way was first mooted by Dr Howard Gardner, who proposed the idea of Multiple Intelligences. Dr Gardner believes that there are eight kinds of intelligences, namely; linguistic (“word smart”), logical-mathematical (“number/reasoning smart”), visual (“picture smart”), bodily-kinesthetic (“body smart”), musical (“music smart”), interpersonal (“people smart”), intrapersonal (“self smart”), and naturalistic (“nature smart”).

Dr Gardner is one of the many experts who strongly challenge the idea that IQ is an accurate way of measuring intelligence. He believes that humans are endowed with many abilities and that each of us have at least one way of learning which we are comfortable with. Going by this theory, it would appear that my strength lies in linguistics while my daughter is a highly visual person. However, both of us love Mathematics and enjoy solving problems with numbers. Hence, based on Multiple Intelligences, we are also number/reasoning smart. What I am trying to point out is that, being good in one area doesn’t mean that you cannot excel in other areas as well.

It is important to note that visual learning is much more than retaining, comprehending and organizing information using pictures and colors. Visual learners are stimulated by facial expressions and body language too. In a nutshell, visual learning is about availing of visual cues to stimulate the mind.

How do we apply this in a daily setting? Well, to a highly visual child, no matter how interesting a subject is, if the teacher or parent speaks in a monotone, does not present good body language or an animated facial expression, it is likely that he will find it hard to learn and get bored easily. Worse, he may get distracted or daydream and his mind may wander elsewhere looking for that visual stimulation … which he may acquire through, say, a bird pecking at the windowsill! In short, if the teacher fails to entertain him, he will find ways to entertain himself! The teacher or parent must be smart enough to present concepts or ideas where the child is able to visualize well. There may also be instances in which words alone may fail to paint the correct mental picture. For example, to introduce the concept of molecules and atoms, the usage of 3-D models will go a long way.

If you feel that your child may be a visual learner, the good news is that he has a vivid imagination i.e. he thinks in terms of images. The moment he hears the word “dog”, perhaps he would see a dog running across the field or thumping its bushy tail next to him. However, if your child is not linguistically inclined, he may find it challenging to follow lessons in the present classroom setting, which emphasizes so much on linguistics and mathematical-logical intelligence.

If your child is already in school and has difficulty to follow lessons, instead of reprimanding him or getting upset with his school report, you need to understand that while every child is gifted one way or another, they may not be gifted in the same way. Take the time and effort to nurture his visual intelligence by presenting ideas and concepts which make use of visual effects. Bring into play colors, pictures, graphs or charts to help him understand how ideas are connected and realize how information can be grouped or organized. Pay close attention to your facial expression and body language and be expressive as you go about explaining concepts he needs assistance with. On the other hand, if your child is both a linguistic and visual learner, you can combine both methods to get the best of both worlds. With your patience, perseverance and support, there is nothing that can stop your child from reaching for the stars!

Published in ParenThink! August 2007

On Enhancing Memory Skills

By Jamilah Samian

Emma vividly recalls the time her eldest son, Brian, began preschool. “He was confident, loved school and the new friends he was making,” she says. “Although he was a little hesitant on his first day of school, by the third day it was evident that he was enjoying himself. He would even give me a flying kiss when I dropped him off each morning before I went to work.”

But that was a few years years ago. Brian is now in Primary Two and it worries Emma that he doesn’t seem to be as enthusiastic about school as he once was. “He fusses that there’s too much to learn,” she says. “Just a week ago, he reported that his teacher complained he was not paying attention in class and because of that, he could not understand how to do the math sums.”

It’s a common concern among parents. While preschool may involve more play and hence, less stress among children, once they step into primary school, it’s a different story. A typical day may include learning new words, new mathematical steps to comprehend, science, social studies and so on i.e. more on processing and storing different kinds of information. How does a child cope with so many facts to remember?

To begin with, an environment of fun enhances memory; both children and adults remember facts better when they are presented in a fun way. That is why children who are blessed with teachers who teach for the love of teaching and therefore make learning fun in class, stand a better chance to excel in school. However, regardless of the kind of teachers your child has, there are ways to help him improve his memory skills.

Memory is generally classified as sensory memory, short term memory and long term memory. Sensory memory is the initial process that helps us remember things for brief periods of time which barely goes beyond several seconds. Short term memory, also known as working memory, on average, helps us to remember seven items for up to about 30 seconds. Long term memory, in comparison, is about storing vast amounts of information for long periods of time.

By and large, parents want to know how children can transform short term memory into long term memory so they can remember facts better. It is quite natural for parents to wonder if a child is born with “bad memory” if he has difficulty to remember school lessons. However, experts assert that there is no such thing as good memory or bad memory; only trained or untrained memory. Unless your child had a major brain injury, the opportunity is always there for his memory skills to be enhanced. You can help him improve his memory skills with the following:

1. Recall past events. Jog your child’s memory of past events. For example, when you are in the car driving him to school and planning for the next family trip, talk about the last trip you had. Start with the broad picture. Where did you go? Where did you stay? Then, move on to the smaller picture. Remember the room we stayed in? Was it facing the beach? Or the garden? There was a patio, right? Do you remember what color it was? And oh yes, what about the palm tree? We did bury a flag there, didn’t we? Do you think someone has found it yet? Studies show that parents can boost memory development in children by training them to zoom on the details and specifics of past events. Browsing through photos of these memorable events might help, too.

2. Have fun with memory games. Take the time to play games with your child which requires him to concentrate and recall past words. The board game Taboo, for instance, needs players to remember what words they may not utter to their team while trying their best to provide clues for persons/characters/objects they are describing. Or, board games notwithstanding, a simple game in which your child has to recall the last word you uttered to construct a sentence will do. A good time to try this game is when you are stuck in a traffic jam!

3. Break it down into chewable bits. Children feel overwhelmed when they have to, say, memorize class plays that involve many lines in less than two weeks. Just as it is impossible to chew a platter of food all at once, it is preposterous to expect a child to digest so many facts at the same time. Divide the task into smaller bytes. Ten lines of play are far more manageable if tackled one line at a time. Not only does your child’s memory skills get sharpened, his self-confidence grows, too when he realizes that what seems to be an impossible task at the beginning is actually achievable if taken and chewed one step at a time.

4. Doodle it. Many of us, children included, remember facts as mental images instead of words. That is why children may remember better when facts are associated as symbols or doodles. The secret is to store vital information as pictures. For example, to help your child remember that herbivores love plants, you can draw some teeth munching some leaves next to the word “herbivores.”

5. Tell a story. It is definitely easier to remember facts when they are presented as a story because with a story, facts fall into place in a nice flow. For instance, to remember all nine planets in the solar system (Mars, Venus etc), you can arrange the first letter of each planet’s name this way: Man-eating Violets Eat Meat Just So Ugly Nymphs Ponder.

Finally, keep in mind that children by nature are voracious learners and their natural curiosity motivates them to learn. However, there is no one size-fits-all when in comes to improving memory skills. Keep trying and don’t rush your child. It may be some time before you find a way which he or she is most comfortable with. Last but not least, memory is less efficient when the brain is overstressed, so it’s better to try the methods above when your child is alert and ready to try something new.

Published in ParenThink magazine July 2007

Working from Home with Children

Jamilah will be speaking on the above topic in the "Starting Out ... It's your Choice!" seminar at Hotel Singgahsana, Petaling Jaya on 7th July 2007 @ 9.30am till 3.30pm.

Meet the Author

Jamilah will be at The Weld, KL on Friday, 1st June 2007 for a Meet-the-Author session from 12.30 - 2.00pm.

Parenting Talks

For a free parenting talk at your organisation/school/creche, write to Jamilah at afhjbs18@streamyx.com

Update of Events

For those who missed the recent talk on "Adolescence: How Your Kids Change and How You May Need to Change Too" at Ummiku Sayang at Taipan, Subang Jaya on 24th April 2007, book yourselves for the following upcoming events:

1. Jamilah will be a panel speaker @ "Super Mums Forum" slated for Saturday, 5th May 2007. Time: 9.00am – 1.00pm. Venue: Hotel Singgahsana, Petaling Jaya. For bookings, please call Puan Zaida/Siti at 03-8024 8664.

2. Join the Official Launch of Ibu Kool Bapa Hebat (Malay version of Cool Mum Super Dad) on Sunday, 6th May 2007. Time: 3pm - 5pm. Venue: Pentas Utama, PWTC. All welcome!

3. Jamilah will be delivering a talk at UMW Toyota Motors, Shah Alam on Friday, 29th June 2007 @ 4.00pm. This event is for invited guests only.

Review by The Star

How To Win Your Kids Over

Review by EVELYN LEN

A refreshing look at ways to become a better parent.

BECOMING a parent is easy enough, compared to being a great parent. If the former takes nine months and a painful labour (for the mother, at least), the latter takes a lot more work and over a much longer period, too.

This book claims to be “the straight-talking guide to making it as a parent without losing a warm enduring relationship with your child”. Certainly, it is packed with plenty of practical suggestions on how to be a good parent.

It goes beyond the usual parenting book as it touches on issues such as meeting your basic needs, self-discovery, work options and time management.

The very first thing, writes Jamilah Samian, is to take care of yourself – yes, you, the parent – and make sure that your basic needs (of body, mind and spirit) are met. Only when you are contented and fulfilled can you become a better parent, she says. That is a refreshing viewpoint, considering that nowadays many parents tend to focus so much on their children that they sometimes neglect their own needs.

Our emotional well-being rubs off on our kids, she says, matter-of-factly. Some of the practical ways in which we can meet our basic needs include getting enough sleep, eating well, exercising regularly, praying/meditating regularly, and connecting with nature. Jamilah is the mother of five boys and a girl, and she writes this book from experience. Throughout the book, she shares some of her own experiences with her children.

Before she became a full-time mum, Jamilah worked as a senior staff in a multi-national organisation. She was also once a home-based entrepreneur and an expatriate spouse in the Middle East. Today, she is a freelance writer.

Jamilah advocates self-discovery as a way to becoming a better parent. Discover yourself through personal reflection and talking with people who are close to you and care about you. Self-discovery enables you to learn what you are potentially best at, what makes you feel whole and happiest, and if you are moving in the right direction to reaching that level of happiness.
Self-discovery can also be related to our work-family options as we ponder whether we should work outside the home full-time, stay at home full-time, work part-time or work from home.
We need time for self-discovery, so time-management becomes very important and should be made the No.1 priority in our lives. Jamilah recommends looking for time-savers (as in changing the way we do things so that we save time) and being on guard against time-stealers. One of the things we could do is to be more selective about the things we must do in a day.

Jamilah puts the onus on the parent to set the tone for the parent-child relationship. If the relationship is a distant or rocky one, then the parent – rather than the child – should change first. And it is never too late to improve that relationship, she says.

She also invites us to explore why we treat our children the way we do. And that has to do with our past – how our parents treated us when we were kids. She delves into the issues of self-talk and leaving a legacy behind for our children, one that goes beyond material possessions.

Once we understand why we act the way we do towards our kids, we can then make them feel special like no one else can. An entire chapter is devoted to this topic. That is the core of the book, and covers issues such as creating enthusiasm, building optimism, how to discipline a child, refining the conscience, how we should view our kids, making our child feel valued, expectations, adolescence, sibling rivalry, and favouritism.

I found the sub-section on giftedness quite refreshing, as it helps the parent see that there is more to giftedness than passing exams. Instead of pressuring our kids to do well only in academic pursuits, we should appreciate that all children are different and, therefore, unique and special.

Not all are academically inclined; there are multiple intelligences. Your child may be word smart, number/reasoning smart, picture smart, body smart, music smart, people smart, self smart or nature smart.

Parenting is such a great challenge that we need all the help we can get. Our support network should include our spouse, friends, and the child’s teachers. Jamilah spells out some ways to go about helping our child if he/she is struggling with homework and really can do better.
The challenge grows when the child becomes a teenager. Having raised a few teens herself, Jamilah offers some helpful tips for this turbulent phase, such as respecting the teen’s privacy, being reassuring and encouraging him/her to think beyond himself/herself. And, of course, do not nag.

To make sure that everyone in the family is given the chance to be heard and understood, family meetings are vital. Jamilah gives suggestions on how to conduct them.
At the end of the book, Jamilah touches on the issue of letting go, and how to handle it when your child leaves the nest.

While it may be a sad time for many parents, it need not be devastating. It has to do with how one sees things; Jamilah suggests seeing it as the development of the parent-child relationship to the parent-friend relationship.

Cool Mum Super Dad is an interesting and enriching read. It contains so much information that it cannot be read at one go. It is better to digest the advice in bite sizes, ponder over it and then put it into practice.

The Star Thursday March 22 2007

Review by The Sun

An Asian Take

by S. Indra Sathiabalan

Bringing up children is not as simple as what we see on television and that is something any parent can tell you. Communicating with them, setting boundaries and instilling values are much easier said than done.

It takes a good deal of hard work and Jamilah Samian knows all about that first hand. She is a mother to five boys and a girl whose ages range from seven to 21.

A former senior staff at a multinational company, Jamilah was also a home-based entrepreneur. She spent the past four years living in Oman when her husband was based in a multinational company there.

Jamilah, who used to write articles for a local newspaper, decided to drop everything two years ago and concentrate on writing a book about being a parent.

The book in question, Cool Mum Super Dad (RM39.90, Truewealth Publishing), was launched last month at the MPH store in 1 Utama.

"I find the relationship aspect between parents and children very challenging, especially on the parents," says the author during a break from her book tour at several major bookstores here.
"When we focus on the relationship bit, it is a win-win situation for both parents and children," she adds.

She finds that children who enjoy a strong relationship with their parents have better self-esteem. "One of the mistakes we make is that we tend to raise our children the way we have been raised.

"Parenting is a skill. We have to look back at the style we have been raised. We then use the good bits and do away with the bits we can do without."

There may be many parenting books out there but most are written from a western viewpoint.
"Although parenting is a universal challenge, our values set us apart from others," says Jamilah. Her book, therefore, caters more to an Asian style of parenting.

Jamilah uses a lot of her personal experiences in her book like how she interacts with her children. So when you read Cool Mum Super Dad, it is like one parent talking to another about how she handles such-and-such a situation.

When it comes to making decisions, both parents must back each other up, she says. "That is a very important aspect of parenthood."

If mummy says no, then daddy should say no, too.

She also advises that whenever a child is punished for doing something wrong, the parent must explain why to the child. "The general rule of thumb is to be firm but kind."

The author also disputes the assumption that children nowadays generally lack basic values because both parents are working.

"These days, most families have both parents working out of necessity. I know of working parents who are good parents and stay-at-home parents who aren't very good parents at all.
"It is [all] about the quantity and quality of time you spend with your children."

Jamilah is currently working on another parenting book but says it is not a sequel to Cool Mum Super Dad.

The Sun Thursday 28 Sep 2006

Paper AirPlanes Making & Book Talk

Jamilah will be at the following venues for Paper AirPlanes Making & Book Talk:

Saturday, 27th January 2007 - MPH Subang Parade - 4pm-5pm
Saturday, 10th February 2007 - MPH 1-Utama - 3pm-4pm
Saturday, 31st March 2007 - Popular Ikano - 3.30pm-4.30pm

A free copy of COOL MUM SUPER DAD awaits the creator of the best-looking airplane!